What people are using to find me?

I've seen RO and VomitComet (Karen and Steve) do this, so I thought I would give it a shot.
I don't have much, but hey they look promising.
being blind
Wow, is there someone wanting to know what its like to be blind or do they know someone who is blind and wanting to sympathize? Being blind isn't that bad :) It can help you make some real cool friends :)


is gary allan dating anyone
Not sure, but if he isn't then send him my way...He can stand in line behind Josh Hamilton...Ah, God has truly blessed this world with those 2 handsome men :)


student killed in crash stephenville
OMG! I didn't hear about this one, but thats not far from here. I hope the family is ok for the situation.


was a real bad day for

Was a real bad for who? I've had bad days, but we all get through them. Want to hear about some bad days go to Karen and Steve's blog...those people are having bad days :)

Well I guess thats it...Wanted to do this to kill some time while I bake buttermilk pies :)

Bet you thought I was gone didn't you?

So, its been a while since I posted! I'm back but just for a minute. Christmas break is finally here and I have time to compplete a whole thought! I'm also procrastinating against packing since I really don't like it. :) Where am I going you may ask? Well, I'm taking a little vacation, going to see my parents in PA (I am not sure how to spell the whole word lol) I am making a long weekend leaving Friday and coming back on Tuesday. My mom and 2 of the ladies that works with her are taking me to NYC on Saturday for a fun filled day of shopping and sight seeing! We also get to spend the night in NYC and go look at everything all lit up! Times Square lit up for Christmas its going to be awesome! I'm just looking forward to a change of scenery, not having to worry about anything, and getting to see my parents. Oh, this will also be fun since its going to be the first big snow Leah and I have worked in before. Time to dig out the good ol' booties, and mom bought her a sweater. I'll have someone take pictures so I can try to get them up here at the very least I'll get them on my facebook. I'm really excited and trying to pack light so I can bring stuff back, but I'm just not sure how to do that lol. Well, thats about all for now, I want to leave you guys with a cute little poem for the holidays!

Its called:
A Guide Dog Christmas

'Twas the night before Christmas and the kennels were still,
with most dogs now asleep having eaten their fill.
The Labradors sprawled out, quite snug in their beds,
while visions of ANYTHING edible danced in their heads.
And the Goldens and Shepherds curled up on the floor,
some twitched in their sleep and some even did snore.
The dog food was stacked in the feed room with care,
in hopes that a trainer soon would be there.

On the window ledge, one of the kennel cats lay,
surveying the lawn at the end of this day.
Something was different, that little cat knew.
Tonight something would happen, it had to be true.
For that day as the workers had left to go home,
They'd wished Merry Christmas! before starting to roam.
The dogs had noticed it to during this past week's walks,
the trainers seemed just that much happier and eager to talk.
In the mall where they worked through the maze of people and stores,
there were decoration and music and distractions galore!
Most dogs pranced along without worry or fear,
but some balked at the man on the sleigh and those fake looking deer.
The cat was almost asleep too when he first heard the sound,
a whoosh through the air and a jingle around.
It reminded him of a dog's collar when the animal shook,
but this sound kept on growing. He'd better go look.
>From the ceiling there came a faint sort of thunk,
as the kennel cat climbed to the highest pile of junk.
Once before people had worked on the roof,
and come down through the trap door to a chorus of "Woooof!"
But the dogs still were quiet, all sleeping so sound,
as this man dressed in red made his way right on down.
He patted the cat as he climbed past his spot,
then made his way right to the trainers' coffee pot.
A shepherd sat up, not fully awake,
then a Golden followed her with a mighty loud shake.
That did it! All the dogs sprang to life with loud noise.
In spite of the din, the old man kept his poise.
He filled the pot full and it started to brew,
then he pulled up a chair and took in the view.
Dogs all around him, so carefully bred,
he knew well their jobs, the blind people they led.
Some had stopped barking and looked at him now,
while others delighted in their own deafening howl.
Laying a finger in front of his lips,
the jolly old man silenced the excitable yips.
"You all may not know me, but I'm Santa Claus,"
the old man smiled and took a short pause, While he filled up his mug with hot liquid and cream,
"I've always wanted to stop here. It's been one of my dreams."
The cat had climbed down and was exploring Santa's sack.
"Yes, little kitty, that's an empty pack."
Santa smiled as he drank and looked at those eyes,
deep brown ones and gold ones held wide in surprise.
Some of these dogs, he'd seen just last year,
in their puppy homes, cute and full of holiday cheer.
He'd seen the effects of a pup on the tree,
but now they were here at the school, just waiting to be.
"I didn't bring you presents or bones just to chew.
I'll tell you something better, what you are going to do."
"You all will work hard and the trainers will share,
both praise and correction, gentle and fair."
"You'll go lots of places and face big scary things.
You'll ride buses and subways and hear fire sirens ring."
"Cars will drive at you but you will stand strong,
not moving into danger, not moving toward wrong."
"And then just when you think that this trainer's the best,
the kindest, and funnest person, toss away all the rest,"
"That trainer will begin to ignore you and give you away,
handing your leash over despite your dismay."
"Now the person who pets you and feeds you will be
a blind person. That's a person who can't see."
" This man or this woman may see just a tad,
but their view's missing parts or the focus is bad."
"So you, well trained dogs, will act as their eyes.
You will work as a team and discover the size"
"Of this great world we live in, because you will go
a million new places with this person, you know."
Santa sipped at his coffee and looked over the brood,
knowing what he had to say next might sound kind of rude.
"Not all of you will make it and become canine guides.
Your time here isn't wasted though. You won't be cast aside."
"Some of you will be drug dogs and some will find bombs.
Some will become pets in a home with a dad and a mom."
"All these things are important. People wait on long lists,
to receive such good dogs as you, the school folks insist."
The last drop of coffee had gone into his cup
as Santa turned, smiling at each wide eyed pup.
"The best gift of all is to give something back.
That's why there's nothing for you all inside of my pack."
Draining his mug, Santa went to each pen,
and petted and scratched each dog again and again.
"Now next year and many more years after that,
you all will give gifts wherever you're at."
"You might lick a hand that's had a bad day,
Or notice a car and step out of the way."
"You might help catch a crook or discover some loot,
Or just bring some joy to a tired old man in a funny red suit."
"Your master will love you and treat you with care.
In return, your training and trust will always be there."
After the last dog had been petted and soothed,
Santa put away the coffee pot and made ready to move.
Up the ladder he rose to the door high above,
with a smile and a wave as he slipped on his gloves.
And all the dog ears were pricked as he disappeared out of sight.
"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a Good Night!"

(Author Unknown)


Have a Happy Holidays everyone,
Amanda Ellen and Leah

Giants vs Rangers!!

So, its offcial, the Giants will be playing the Rangers starting wednesday for the world series title!! I have to say I really hope Texas keeps up what they've been doing and kicks some Giants butt! I am so excited, and I held off on this post to see who we would be playing. I am also relieved that its not the Phillies. Seems like the big names won't be making the talk of the town this year! First time for the Rangers to the world series ever since they've been a ball club! I'm so excited and think its a good time to be a Texan! I was also glad that Josh Hamilton got the AL MVP, his speech was very touching and I've loved him since the first time I heard him play. He just goes out there and gives the game everything he has and then some. He is just an awesome player and glad he got the award. So, sorry if I ahave an Californians reading or any Giants fans here, but I hope Texas kicks the Giants butt all over the place and we come with the World Series under our belt!!

Go Rangers and I can't wait for Wednesday..Cliff Lee will be starting things out right!

GO RANGERS! ALL THE WAY BABY! IT'S TIME! CLAWS AND ANTLERS BABY!!!

Thats all,
Amanda Ellen

Couch Ponderings and ramblings :)

Well, I titled it that because really I am laying on the couch with a neck pillow in my jacket and PJS. I've reached a state of boredom that is really horrible. I don't like to be bored, and this whole not going out and no one has come to see me business just isn't fun. Oh, you may ask why I am not going out, well a little over a week ago I had surgery to revise my shunt. Oh whats a shunt you may ask well, a shunt is a piece of plastic tubing, or thats what I have been told to think it is, that runs from a valve implanted in my brain down to my stomach to drain my spinal fluid since my brain can't seem to do it properly. Oh, its going to get better, I think I'll take this time to educate everyone on my disease, give me just one sec to hit up google :)
***google time***
Please be patient as all of our operators are currently helping other customers :)
Ok, so according to google this is how you properly spell the disease its called hydrocephalus.
According to the Mayo Clinic, here is the definition:
"Hydrocephalus occurs when excess fluid builds up in your brain, most often because of an obstruction preventing proper fluid drainage. The excess fluid can compress surrounding, fragile brain tissue, causing brain damage. Left untreated,hydrocephalus can be fatal. Once known as "water on the brain," hydrocephalus is sometimes present at birth, although it may develop later. About 1 out of 500 children is born with the disorder. The outlook if you have hydrocephalus depends on how quickly the condition is diagnosed and whether any underlying disorders are present."

The Mayo Clinic's symptoms include:



"The signs and symptoms of hydrocephalus vary by age group and disease progression.

In infants, common signs and symptoms of hydrocephalus include:

■An unusually large head
■A rapid increase in the size of the head
■A bulging "soft spot" on the top of the head
■Vomiting
■Sleepiness
■Irritability
■Seizures
■Eyes fixed downward (sunsetting of the eyes)
■Developmental delay
In older children and adults, common signs and symptoms of hydrocephalus include:

■Headache followed by vomiting
■Nausea
■Blurred or double vision
■Eyes fixed downward (sunsetting of the eyes)
■Problems with balance, coordination or gait
■Sluggishness or lack of energy
■Slowing or regression of development
■Memory loss
■Confusion
■Urinary incontinence
■Irritability
■Changes in personality
■Impaired performance in school or work
Hydrocephalus produces different combinations of these signs and symptoms, depending on its cause, which also varies by age. For example, a condition known as normal pressure hydrocephalus, which mainly affects older people, typically starts with difficulty walking. Urinary incontinence often develops, along with a type of dementia marked by slowness of thinking and information processing.

When to see a doctor
Infants and toddlers require emergency medical care for these signs and symptoms:

■A high-pitched cry
■Problems with sucking or feeding
■Unexplained, recurrent vomiting
■Exhibiting an unwillingness to bend or move the neck or head
■Breathing difficulties
■Seizures
The following signs and symptoms don't constitute an emergency, but they do warrant a call to your child's doctor:

■A rapid increase in the size of the head
■A bulging "soft spot" on the top of the head
■A change in the appearance of the face or eyes
■A decreased level of interest or engagement in social interactions
Older adults need a complete physical and neurological exam if experiencing:

■Walking difficulties
■Impaired thinking
■Urinary incontinence "

Am I scarying anyone yet?
I had headaches, messed up vision, nausea, and vomitting. Not sure about that sunsetting of the eyes thing...but um, I also did and still do have problems with my train of thought, my memory is really fuzzy for most things before surgery the first time around and things now are a bit fuzzy from time to time or I sometimes don't remember things at all. I do have the lack of energy thing still now, it seems I can sleep a lot! I also have a real balance problem, but it was much worse before the first surgery!

Here's what they say are the causes:
"Hydrocephalus is caused by excess fluid buildup in your brain.

Your brain is the consistency of gelatin, and it floats in a bath of cerebrospinal fluid. This fluid also fills large open structures, called ventricles, which lie deep inside your brain. The fluid-filled ventricles help keep the brain buoyant and cushioned.

Cerebrospinal fluid flows through the ventricles by way of interconnecting channels. The fluid eventually flows into spaces around the brain, where it's absorbed into your bloodstream.

Keeping the production, flow and absorption of cerebrospinal fluid in balance is important to maintaining normal pressure inside your skull. Hydrocephalus results when the flow of cerebrospinal fluid is disrupted — for example, when a channel between ventricles becomes narrowed — or when your body doesn't properly absorb this fluid.

Defective absorption of cerebrospinal fluid causes normal pressure hydrocephalus, seen most often in older people. In normal pressure hydrocephalus, excess fluid enlarges the ventricles but does not increase pressure on the brain. Normal pressure hydrocephalus may be the result of injury or illness, but in many cases the cause is unknown."

One of my chambers in my brain are clogged with a big ol' mass of scar tissue at everyone's best guess because its not malignant and its not pressing too hard on anything. How I got the scar tissue will forever remain a mystery, and it will prob stay there forever unless it turns malignant.

Here's somethings that can give you a good chance of getting this disease:
"
■Lesions or tumors of the brain or spinal cord
■Central nervous system infections
■Bleeding in the brain
■Severe head injury"

The Mayo Clinic has the pretty normal treatment options here:
"Hydrocephalus is usually treated with surgery. Options include:

■Shunt placement. The most common treatment for hydrocephalus is the surgical insertion of a drainage system, called a shunt. It consists of a long flexible tube with a valve that keeps fluid from the brain flowing in the right direction and at the proper rate. One end of the tubing is usually placed in one of the brain's ventricles. The tubing is then tunneled under the skin to another part of the body where the excess cerebrospinal fluid can be more easily absorbed — such as the abdomen or a chamber in the heart.

People who have hydrocephalus usually need a shunt system for the rest of their lives, so additional surgeries may be needed to insert longer tubing to match a child's growth. Revisions to the shunt also may be needed if the tubing becomes blocked or infected.

■Ventriculostomy. This surgical procedure is sometimes used when there's an obstruction of flow between ventricles. In the procedure, your surgeon makes a hole in the bottom of one of the ventricles, to allow the cerebrospinal fluid to flow toward the base of the brain, where normal absorption occurs."

They tried both with me, and only the shunt works.
Ok, so to my most recent surgery, my shunt needing revising, which meant something was broken and it needed fixed. What needed fixin you may ask?
Well the valve in my brain had become covered in brain goo for some reason and the cathedar piece that protrudes from the base of my skull, which isn't noticeable, was broken. With these 2 issues I was having killer headaches that felt like the back of my head was going to blow out, double vision, shaking of the hands, difficulty concentrating, and difficulty processing anything I was abosorbing. Not sure if the mental side of things, not the headches and the sakes part, was because things weren't working right or if thats just a symptom left from the surgery I haven't really encountered before or if its going to stick with me since the levels got so high this time.
But I only spent 2 nights in the hospital, and got a groovy new haircut and 30 stitches. I think I am the only person I know who made a fuss because they gave me stitches this time instead of staples. I now know why I made a fuss because the stitches are painful because they are the kind that goes away on their own and they hurt when they are trying to go away!

Well, hmm...thinking that might be the end of my couch ramblings and thoughts for the night.

Oh, I forgot this disease did cause my blindness because the pressure caused my optic nerves to atrophy which gave me optic neuropathy!
Hmm, if I remember something else I will edit so look for the edit sign in the title!

Night everyone!

Amanda Ellen and Princess Leah

Paying it forward!

Ok, so I am "paying it forward" Some nice person in my lit class payed for my ticket for me to go see the local group of drama people put on the show "Dracula" with the rest of my class. So in honor of that since that person won't accept me paying them back, I am helping another person. This person is a good friend of mine, she is older than me but she is a really awesome lady. She is getting custody of her grandson due to some issues with the mom which is her daughter. Well I think its awesome she is taking him, but she and her husband don't make a whole lot of money to start with, and they never had any boys. So, I am rounding up people to help her out getting some boy stuff gathered up for the kiddo. I have heard him on the phone before and he sounds like a real sweet kid, and I would love to help my friend anyway I can. So, I called other friends who have kids and know people who have kids and we are slowly gathering up some toys for him. One of the Dean's at school is helping out my friend by donating an old bedroom suite her little boy had..so thats cool. Oh, my friend works at the school so its nothing weird. I wanted to get him some clothes since his mom didn't have a lot of money to buy him clothes and he is currently sharing some clothes with his sister, but his size is yet to be known yet. So, I plan on going to goodwill once he arrives and we know what size we need and buying him a few suits of clothes. Plus, this is what really has me excited, as long as I have been living on my own I have never had a trick or treater, but this year I will!! So, since the little boy, well he isn't too little he is 7, will be coming to trick or treat me and he will be the only one I am going to make him up something special! I am really excited! I love making other people happy, it makes me happy! So, I just wanted to encourage all of you if you can pay it forward and hope the person you help pays it forward and. This way lots of people get help and we all feel good!

So excited, what should I get for a 7 year old boy in his awesome trick or treat suprise?

Amanda Ellen

Ok, so this has been a long time coming!

Well I said I would write this when I had some time to myself to not have Taylor hovering, well nows the time. Taylor is safely in bed asleep and I am up all alone, not sure for how much longer, but I am up. So, this igoing to be my real thought provoking post. Not sure why I feel the need to write this, but I do. Lets call it morbid curiosity ok?
Well here goes:
Well, before Taylor my last serious relationship was my "highschool sweetheart" well that relationship lasted for 6 years and could've led to marriage and who knows what else, but things ended sourly when I went blind. He felt that he could treat me like dirt because I could no longer see and run away from the problems as easily. Well I dealt with this for almost a year before I found my exit, blind rehab. I found my courage and had a good network of friends who helped me get through it and helped me move on. The couple of months between this ending and before the start of Taylor and I as a couple was not a time in my life I was real proud of, I did somee things that I would never had done in a normal state of mind, but I felt that I had something to prove to myself and in a way I proved it. I proved that even though I couldn't see didn't change the way I looked to people or the way my ppersonality waremd people. I just went about it the wrong way, the waaayyy wrong way. Tank God for Taylor or who knows where I would be today. But my curiosity comes from the fact of one what would be different if I hadn't gone blind? Where would I be today? Would I have married him like I had planned or would he have proposed at all since I wasn't blind? Ok, and lets go back to the fact that can't be changed, I went blind, if not for my eexperiences in Austin with the blind rehab program would I have stayed in this destructive relationship in hopes it would get better, or would I be in PA with mom and dad alone and wondering what I will do with my life? Things that I ponder from time to time. I also get curious as to how he is doing with his life...I say this but I know its true, but in a way I want to know but I know in my core if I knew he was happy with someone else it would kill me. I am completely over this in every way possible. I am completely and utterly in love with Taylor and not much is going to change that, but it still gives me that pang of pain and jealously because I think no one would have been better to him than me. I can put up with a lot of shit to see something through if I want to. I am just that hard headed, and it can sometimes be a curse and a blessing. I know I should not feel these things, or wonder about these things..its just not healthy...but can't a girl wonder? Then there are times, I think about that last encounter we had together..I was seriously in the wrong.This was part of the time I was not proud of myself or what I was doing. I went into town requested to see him, even though I knew he was dating someone, he came and got me against my mom's better judgement. We went out to dinner which I offered to pay for half of, but he refused..I thought something had changed. We went back to his aprtment he was sharing with some of our old mutual friends which I really wanted to see. I talked to them for a bit, and then we went to his room and started to talk and everyone left us in the apartment by ourselves and well one thing led to another and well yeah...I really considering at this point giving him his umpteenth chance to make things right, then I went back to Austin and back to my "man toys" and he promised me the moon and stars and didn't follow up again, and I fell back into my little vendetta to prove to myself and the world I was worth something to someone. I was at one point "with" 2 guys at one time with one of them 29 when I was 19...not a healthy relationship at all..we met once a weekend to have dinner and well yeah do what 19 year olds do...lol. While during the week I was seeing and doing what 19 year olds do with a 26 or 27 year old guy that was a friend and I was just there when he needed a friend when he had problems with his girlfriend and yeah he left her and I was just there.Keep in mind during this torrid affair, I was like numb, neither of them really mattered to me on a serious level...they were just part of my climb to prove my worth. Yet I still wonder about them from time to time wonder if I had let them matter to me instead of walling myself up what could have came of it all if I could have committed myself to just one of them. But I didn't and Taylor and I got to know each other better because at first we hated each other, I didn't like his attitude and he didn't like the way I was living life. Going out everynight getting drunk or finding somewhere to do it. Living life numb and keeping myself very well protected from anyone who might want to care for me. But some for reason that I will never know that hate turned into tolerance, and that tolerance turned into like and we started hanging out alot. Then that like turned into a friendship, and well that friendship turned into what we have today. I never have had trouble expressing my feelings about someone, but when I wanted to tell Taylor "I love you" the words just could not come out. I couldn't make myself say them. He thought I was really messed up, because I am sure I sounded pretty stupid trying to say this. I attribute this to my months of protecting myself and hiding deep in myself and not allowing myself to feel like this and now I had no control it just happened. I was also afraid of being hurt, I didn't want to say it and him to say ok, that is nice I don't feel the same way. If he had say that I have no idea where I would be today. But he said he loved me too. Neither of us were sure how strong it was, but we got the true test, when he moved back to his parents for a bit while he was waiting to move in with a friend of his close to his parents which was 2 or 3 hours from Austin. I was all about coming to see him every weekend paying my bus ffare there and back just to see him. He was unsure of this and said we would have to play it weekend by weekend, well after that first weekend, I said well let me know when I can come back and yeah well..he shcoked me when he said "You aren't coming back next weekend?" I knew then that this thing was much stronger than either one of us reckoned it would be. Taylor makes me much more happy then anyone else I have ever been with in every possible way. Physical, emotional, mentally..you name it, I am very happy. Sure we have our ups and downs but yeah its still tons better now than it has ever been, but I find myself thinking these morbid curious thoughts when I am having a down. When it just feels like life is hitting me head on. I think I think of these things because I wonder if things would have been easier for me in a different life path. I sometimes wish I could look into a parallel universe and see myself in these different life paths and see what would have happened to me. Am I alone in this thought path? This my deep thoughts that I never have talked to anyone else before about, but I feel that I can trust my blogger family with these screts and they won't go any farther. I have been feeling I need to share these things with someone somewhere but didn't know who without someone judging me for my past or thinking I am ungrateful for what I have or just flat out crazy.
But I am sorry, this doesn't seem to be the great masterpiece I imagined, but I do feel better and a bit skitish because I don't want Taylor catching me at this. So, I'll end it here.
Please feel free to tell me I am crazy or something.

My fave songs for this posting:
Eminem Ft. Rihanna Love the Way You Lie
Gary allan See if I Care
Gary Allan Learning how to Bend
Gary Allan Loving you against my will
Gary Allan Smoke Rings in the Dark

Deep Thoughts and Crazy Ramblings brought to you by
Amanda Ellen and Leah as my only witness.

Ok, just a little something here

This is not what I want to write, but I can't write it right now. I need time to write it with no Taylor trying to be nosey and see whats coming out of my brain. This post will be a post that makes you think or at least makes me think and its something I've been thinking about just out of morbid curiosity. But I don't think it will come this week since this week is "Taylor's Birthday Week" so yeah he is demanding attention and not wanting to leave me to myself for any decent amount of time. I would go the headphone route but I really don't want to hear that one, not right now. So, I wanted to give you guys a heads up on whats to come when I have the time. I will give you a school update, I found out today that the first 4 quizzes for my business law class will have a curve, not that I need it, so that will be awesome. So that will do something for my 2 80s, an 85, and a 95...wonder what my grade will look like then :)
I am really excited about this weekend since Friday is Taylor's birthday and his mom's birthday is Sunday because I hope they both really like their presents that I got them. Taylor's mom present just came in the mail today. I am now just waiting for my book I ordered from Amazon to show and I will be a happy camper. I ordered this book for my vampire class that is about this Countess from the 1500s or 1600s who well liked blood. She killed pretty young girls to bathe in their blood because she thought it helped keep her young. There is also rumors that she drank some of the blood to keep her inner beauty. So yeah its really about how she got to that point and the downfall from all that and her imprisonment in her own rooms and how she died. Really looking forward to it, I was told by the lit professor that iI am like him, I need a whole team of thereapists and not sure even then they could truly find what makes me so disturbed and twisted lol. So, yeah I'll take my first major exam for Biology next week and trying to get ahead for my trip to see my parents the first week of october, I miss them lots. So, yeah thats about it. Leah has been a doll except for her wal mart trip monday, but she really hates Wal-Mart and it takes alot to keep her focused in their. I tell myself next time I am not giving her a chance to act right I am just going to slap the head collar on before we go in, but then I always go soft in my resolve and think she might act right this next time and end up giving lots of corrections the whole time we are there. *sighs* I love my girl, but I think GDB matched us up too well sometimes, she is just as hardheaded as I am, and I never realized how bad I could be lol.

Well thats it for now, I hope to write my thought provoking post soon,

Amanda Ellen and Leah My little Princess

A big bunch of nothingness

Well, not much I really feel I need to get out there, but I am so bored that I thought I would give you guys a nothingness post. :) So, yeah lets see. School has been going good. I am successfully filling my role as an average college student. Making mostly "B"s on my quizzes and stuff. Archery, now thats going well. I have a goal to destroy this stupid door bell by the end of the semester. Oh, the door bell you ask? The door bell is the ghetto accomadations the school provided to me for Archery. I can't really use it by myself because for one I am not by myself, and for 2 the door bell reverberates in sound so its really hard to tell exactly where the sound originates from. So, the teach told me he would give me an "A" for the semester if I could destroy it by the end of the semester by shooting it. Come close Wednesday got 3 inches to the left of it. So close! I can't go to the ADA counselor because she is out all week, so I'll tell her next week it won't work and continue on my path of destruction. :) It def makes Archery that much more fun. Business Law, I need to email that teacher because the court cases she refers to in our notes don't match to what she is saying in the book. So yeah, thats a bit frustrating. Yesterday was a real bad day for meI got a migraine right as I was getting to school, I should've stayed home I felt it coming before I left but I thought I could tough it out and really didn't want to miss school. Well, yeah I should've stayed home, once the migraine was gone, I was like a walking zombie. I really had pretty much no spoons. I was in a fog or a haze and couldn't do much of anything. This sidewalk I take regulary and have done so for the last 3 years looked like it split in 3 different directions yesterday. My vision whats left was all screwed up. I couldn't even help my friend with some college algebra my brain was so fryed. I felt useless yesterday. Is it bad if I don't like to write in my blog while Taylor is in the room lol? I feel like I am writing in my diary and he is invading my privacy lol. But yeah he is not paying attention right now he is playing with a new app on his IPhone. I am half way listening to the Cowboys game on the TV. Just paying enough attention to see when someone scores. I am really ready for bed, I shouldn't be I slept for 11 hours last night, but I am just really bored, border line feeling depressed. Not sure why I am, I have no real reason to feel this way. I am really busting my butt in school because I want to take a week off the first week in October so I can go see my parents. Its been since May since I seen them last and they will be in Texas then. After this I won't see them again till New Year's. I am ahead in Biology right now, but I just need to have my tutor finish my notes for the last chapter and a half I need for the first major text. Business Law, well yeah...not sure there. Archery I don't think will be a problem or Wellness and Fitness. My oreintation class still isn't moving because the prof can't get blackboard to like what she is posting for us to download. Thank God that tomorrow is Friday. Tomorrow I think I'll work on my Biology paper in tutoring. Its a research paper over Giant Pandas, it should be fun if I can ever get my energy to return. Well, the Cowboys are winning 16-10 and I think its still 3rd quarter, or it maybe 4th not real sure. I heard about the new nanos coming out yesterday. Not sure if I like it or not. But I still think I want one. I like the old ones with the video camera, but I think I like the fact that the new ones will be running IOS. Well the Cowboys lost their lead here in the 4th its now 17-16. Yeah, not long now before I will be going to bed. Wonder if I am getting sick, my whole body is starting to hurt. Ah, who knows I'll worry about it when that gets here if it gets here.
Well, I guess thats all I will bored with you tonight.
Hope you had fun with my whole lot of nothingness!

AAmanda Ellen and Leah

Recaps of Sunday and Monday

Ok, so at the request and persistent request of a few people who will remain nameless for this post, I now finally feel human enough to get this out there for you guys.
If you've been reading then you know I went to Oklahoma Sunday with Taylor's parents. Well despite my worst fears things actually went smoothly for the most part. Leah wasn't looked down like a plaque or anything for being there, no one made any snyde comments, and no one complained about taking me to take her out. My only real issue and notice I say issue was someone who was there playing too. I had Leah following Taylor's mom since I couldn't see well in there and I definately couldn't hear. Well, on our trips around the casino Leah was doing great, following without any major problems until someone stopped her. Want to know how they stopped her, they stuck their hand out there like they were going to pet her and she stopped in her tracks and was ready to eat some attention up. Well because said person stopped Leah Taylor's mom kept on going thinking we were still following, until she turned around to say something and I wasn't there lol. I said a few words with the person, about how my dog is a working dog and I am blind and that she was following my family so I knew where to go and thanks to them I was now lost and didn't know where my family had gone. You know what all they said was I am sorry, and didn't even offer to help me find them! That was total bullshit! But we only eneded doing half of the trip we had planned since everyone was really tired by like 3 and ready to go home. Taylor's dad and brother were a bit aggravating his dad more than anyone because we were trying to regroup to leave and we couldn't let him go anywhere because he would just sit down and start playing again and it was next to impossible to get him off it. So we ended up home about 6 that evening, and I was pooped I had been up since 4:30 that morning and I think Leah was starved even though I had been feeding her small amounts of kibble and ice through the day along with some water here and there. Once again, my private pooper wouldn't poop while we were there so I felt a little silly prepared for the worst lol. But went to bed semi early for us at least that night. I had school the next day the first day of school to be truthful. Oh boy, I woke up at like 8 that morning wide awake realizing I had only slept for a little less than 8 hours, that should've been my first clue to what kind of day I was going to have. Well, I got ready packed myself a lunch and made sure I had lots of water for Leah and myself because it was only like 9:30 and it was hot! Well, glad I did, because before the day was over the temp had gotten to 108 and the heat index was hotter than the devils butt crack lol. (I just made that one up lol) Archery went well, he said we wouldn't go outside and start shooting till it cooled off a bit, which is good. Wednesday we are going to the library to learn how to email him assignments in blackboard and to start a written assignment on the "ABC's of Archery Safety" yeah sounds kind of stupid but whatever. So, we got out of there early and I went to check on where I would be meeting the person who was in charge of helping me with my classes and the room we usually used was no longer available to us. So, I threw a small fit about refusing to work in the library and stalked off. I went to my friend who is the assisstant to the dean and also in charge of room schedules and told her what was going on. She found a class room that we could work in, but once we got there after my special topics class we found the internet didn't work in there. Anyways more about tutoring later. So, I ate lunch after that talking to my friend while she worked and listening to the people come and go. I then tried to return my biology book since I had extra time but the line in the bookstore had looped all the way around the store so I gave up and left. Then I decided to go back to my friends office and wait out the time till it was ok to head over for class. She had asked me to come out side and smoke with her and I agreed, and I had let Leah off her leash to do her business because my friend was watching her and Leah does really on campus about not wandering off. Well, talking to my friend and listening to Leah's tags jingle to keep an ear out for where she was, when all of a sudden my friend leaned over and whispered "Leah just pooped" I was mortified. In the 2 years she has been on campus she never pooped on campus! So, I asked my friend if I got the sack I brought my lunch in would she show me where it was so I could pick it up. Well in the process of picking up the deposit, the maintenence person came up to me and asked what I was doing, I simply stated that I was picking up after my dog. To which his reply was, "Don't do that" and I was like what? and he said they prefer for the dogs to poop on campus where people don't walk because its free fertilizer. The man whom I was speaking to is really nice and I have spoken with him before and he playfully told me he would beat me for throwing his free fertilizer away lol. Well, I told him that I had already picked up and wasn't about to put it back and he laughed. So, I tied up the deposit and gathered up my stuff since I needed to head over to class. My grandmother had painted my lit professor a picture since she found out he was my fave and I had been trying to get it to him since the end of may and I also had a picture of myself and him that we had taken at the awards ceremony in may as well that I wanted to give him. Well I caught him before class in front of the student center smoking a cigar and had the pictures under my arm, with the deposit in my hand. When I walked up he was all like "Oh, you have the pictures." and i was all like "Yeah, let me just throw something awway first." Then he was all like "Whats in that wal mart sack, you got something good for me?" and he was really wanting the wal mart sack in my hand which had the deposit in my hand. I told him"You don't want this sack, I need to throw it away." He was like well maybe it is something I want don't throw it away." I laughed loudly because I was trying to not be blunt about what was in the sack since there was other people out there, but he was insistant on me giving him the bag until I finally said" Hyles, do you really want this sack?" and he waslike "Maybe" and I was like "Oh, I bet you don't" and he was like " How do you know I don't want it?" and I was like "You are really going to make me say it, its dog shit. I don't think you want it." I laughed really loudly as did alot of other people in hearing distance. He then asked me "Why in the hell are you carrying around dog shit?" He was very confused at this point...and I couldn't stop laughing. I finally said "Well, Leah had to poop and I picked it up and this is the only outside trash can close." He was very disgusted at the fact for a minute and laughed. "I guess thats part of having a dog like that huh?" was his response. "Yeah, but I was told she could poop wherever as long as it wasn't where some one walked that I didn't have/need to pick up." "What? Then we will have dog shit everywhere in that case." "No, this is the first time in 2 years she has ever pooped on campus." "Are you shitting me?" "No, *laughing*" "That poor dog she can hold it better than I can." "No, she is just a private pooper, but don't think she could hold it today so she did what she had to do." "Well she must have developed shame." "Shame?" "Shame like us humans, we can't just go shit in front of people." "I guess, she really just likes to have her privacy. " Then he laughed and I laughed. This teacher is rather old and he has some problems getting up once he has sat down and at this point it was just him and me outside and it was time to go to class, so I asked if he needed help up. He was like no I'll just wait for someone else to help me. I was astonished, and replied "I can help you, you know?" He was like "But you are blind you can't help me up." I told him "Just because I can't see you doesn't mean my arms are broken, now let me help you up." To which he replied "Ok, but if You let me fall, its going to be a blind girls ass." I laughed really hard and helped him up with no problems. He then said to me "Well, I guess you were right, you don't need eyes to do that kind of stuff huh?" I was like "No, I told you my arms work just fine." We went to class while he carried his picture of him and me with him, he had someone else put the painting in his car. Well, we got to class and this particular class is broadcasted with the other campus in Hillsboro and while waiting for the stuff to connect to the other campus he played with the magnification stuff he had put my half of the picture on the screen, and everyone was laughing. I couldn't for the life of me figure out why, so I finally had to ask "Do I really want to know what you are doing?" To which he said to the rest of the class "Its ok, she doesn't know she's blind." I almost died laughing. He then told me that he had put my half of the picture on the screen, and I told him to not subject those people to such torture. He told me "I know its the most awful kind of torture, having to look at a pretty girl isn't it?" I ducked my head and blushed embarrassed. Then he put his half of the picture on the screen and said " Ok, kids this is what you will look like in 20 years if you don't drink your milk and eat your vegetables." I couldn't help laughing. This teacher is my fave because he isn't afraid to joke about my blindness and play it off like a joke and that makes me feel better because of it. Most teachers just try to dance around the fact and some are even afraid to say "Blind" like its a forbidden word or something. Well, once that class was over I went to meet my tutor whom I already knew and we went to try this room my friend had told us was open for the time we wanted. Well when we got there we were drenched in sweat, because it had reached the 108 degrree mark by this time. So, while we cooled off in the room, I was trying to get my computer on the network and I needed a network key so I called the internet person and she came over and said we were trying to connect to the old network and we needed the new one, but needed to download this thing first but had to do it somewhere else in another building and then this room would work for us. So we just decided to go somewhere else for the day. We got started and tryed to to use this lock down browser and it wouldn't work on my computer like the teacher said it would. So, I went to the testing center and took my first quiz for Biology. It was simple 10 questions and I made an 80 only missing 2 questions. I didn't think that was too bad but felt I could've done better. Then we decided to get half of the business law done since we didn't have a book, we only did the discussion board posting for the week. Once we had done all this, we decided we had enough for the day because we had covered the outline for business law and biology. I then went off to tackle the book store one more time and it wasn't that bad this time, but I did run into a lady who works for the school Taylor went to highschool at and she knew him and didn't realize that I was his girlfriend, all she had ever heard was that he was dating a blind girl. She said it was nice to meet me and she was very nice, becauseI knew her daughter from hanging out with some of Taylor's friends. Well, now on to my complaining. Whose bright idea was it to not talk me out of 13 hours? I mean 12 hours has never been a problem before, but 10 of my hours this semester is going to kill me. Biology has lots of quizzes and 5 page papers, Business law has averaging 2 quizzes a week, with a discussion board posting and 2 replies a week, and my special topics class well thats just special. We have to read one fictional vampire book, one non fictional vampire book, not to mention Dracula and this other book called Carmilla. We have to write papers over all of those, and we also have to watch 16 movies or more and keep a movie log of when we watched it, who we watched it with, and a summary of the movie. Yikes! Oh, and the business law class is requiring a reserach paper on Managerial Accounting, which shouldn't be an issue since I am decent at accounting, but I have a feeling that it won't be what I am expecting and its due in Nobember so I should probably start on that paper and the biology papers just to get a head start. I don't think I'll be having much of a sociallife this semester. If this doesn't kill me, than I will have one heck of a GPA,when its over! Well, I didn't want to be bored anymore, and it looks like this semester is just what I asked for, not a whole lot of down time. I am sorry it took me so long to get this up, I was just worn out with not getting a whole lot of sleep and having 2 long days and the heat and humidity yesterday almost killed me. I really was pooped. I also had another early morning this morning because I ahd to get a shot and get groceries, but I jumped at the first chance I had to catch a nap and slept for about a hour or 2 and feel much more human. If Ican go to bed early tonight it would rock, because tomorrow I have to get up at 8 to make sure everything is taken care of before I leave for the day.

I am writing this while I listen to the Rangers game from yesterday on archive, see you know I'm out of it when I don't even have the concentration to watch baseball. So, today I have a double header, just hoping they don't overlap. I tried really hard to not hear anything about the game before I watched it which was really hard since Taylor likes to listen to the sports station and the Rangers game last night seemed to be a hot topic, so I kept holding my ears shut and humming till it was over. That made for an interesting car ride though :) We just went to the top of the 7th, and its 3-0 Rangers, its looking good for us right now. We are playing the Twins,and over all they are a pretty tough team.
Well, thats the scoop on the poop lmao!

Hope you enjoyed,
Amanda Ellen and Leah who is not happy that she has had to work 3 straight days in a row, but she doesn't know she has to work tomorrow too :)

An update on my previous post!

YAY! so I am happy to report, that Leah will be going with me on our little Sunday outing! Thanks to Taylor I didn't really even have to blow a gasket and never really had to be shitty! I love him sometimes :) So, in all seriousness, Leah and I have never had an outing quite like this before, with a long car ride there and then actually having to do something once the car ride is over. Usually when she has long car rides she and I are going to my parents and we get home and the harness comes off and its relax time. I am not sure how I'm going to do on this either, I don't normally do long car rides well when it comes to having energy when its over. Riding 4 hours to my mom's with lots of stops along the way usually wears me out. So, 2.5 hours to a casino and spending god only knows how long in this casino will be interesting, to say the least! I am wondering how I will do Leah's breakfast that morning. Thinking if I get up 2 hours before we have to leave and feed her immediately then that should give her ample oppourtunity and time to do her business. Not wanting to make this any worse by asking to stop on the way there because Leah has to go. I am sure we will have to stop though, because I am sure I'll have to go to the bathroom with having a bladder the size of a walnut and always drinking alot of fluids. But I think I'll keep her dinner the same, just hoping she will be willing to poop in public like that. I have come to know over time that Leah is a very private pooper. She doesn't really like anyone watching if she can help it and she prefers grass to concrete any day. So, I have a feeling this place won't have a lot of grass and probably won't have a real secluded place for Leah to go to the bathroom. So this will make dinner time interesting. I also think I'll make some take me and her out every 2 or 3 hours just to make sure she doesn't need a potty break because I really don't want any accidents. Not with these people around I don't. Give me any of my family or my friends and it wouldn't be so bad, but with Taylor's family this would be mortifying. The only thing they asked of me was if I could brush her extra good the night before to help knock off any extra dog hair to keep the dog hair to a minimum in the car. Which ok whatever, I still won and my dog is getting to go. The friend who was going to keep Leah for me was a little sad that I was taking Leah with me since she had a whole play day planned for Leah and her pup, but she understood why this was important to me and said we could make a play day one day when I could attend to or next time I needed a dog sitter. So that was really nice. Oh, and I don't really keep poop bags on me since Leah has never pooped on campus in the 3 years we've been going to school and thats usually the place we are at the longest where its mandatory that I pick up after her, so can I just take wal mart bags to pick up poop if I can coax her to go? I have a backyard and kinda shove the poop off into a corner and pick up the pile like once a week, and Taylor's parents have a yard that Leah goes in which Taylor's mom does the same as me, and my mom has a yard that she doesn't really pick up, but never seems to over flow since I am sure that since they aren't there alot the strays probably take care of what poop does accumulate. So, Sunday will be interesting, but I feel great, because my baby will be going! I won the battle, just not sure about the war just yet! I am just so happy! I'll call tomorrow to see what they want to put in the floor of the car for her to lay on, if I need to bring something. If I do then I guess I'll be nice and wash Leah's favorite blanket and take it. Its really cute my mom bought it for her. Its pink camo and has John Deere on it. Mom thought it was fitting of Leah, she said she was a pink country girl lol. So, I am really ready and kinda nervous now. I'm not sure when I'll update on Sundays adventures since I do have school Monday..so I'll either try to do it before bed Sunday or maybe monday evening. Just depends on how wore out I am. Oh, how I can't wait for school to start to give my life some normalcy again! It will be so nice and I already have notes for my biology class so its a good start. Lots of stuff to remember though. Like "Does King PeterCome Over For Great Sex" Thats from my teacher! It is a little thing to help you remember Domain, Kingdom, Phylum,Class, Order, Family, Geneus (not sure how to spell that one), and Species! So, yeah I think I'll need lots of those little sayings to help me remember all this stuff! I hope to have my first quiz done early since its not due till the second monday of class but hoping by maybe wednesday I'll have it done!
Well, one more thing and then I'll finish for the night, The Rangers won tonight 2-0 over Baltimore and I enjoyed talking to you ladies and somewhat to you gentelman too today and can't wait to do it again!

Love, Peace, and Chicken Grease!!!

Amanda Ellen and Leah "My Princess"

Unsupportive People beware, Cause I have about had enough!

Ok, so since I've gotten Leah the supportiveness of Taylor's family has been slowly going down hill and for the most part I have been able to stomach it and move on. Well this week I have about had enough. They wanted us to go up to Oklahoma to a casino on Sunday with them. Well, no problem a friend of mine offered to take Leah for me the night before and I could pick her up the next day. The only stipulation was that I needed to be home to receive her by 6:30-7 pm. Which I didn't think would be a problem since we were pplanning on leaving at like 6:30 that morning. Oh, well that just can't do for Taylor's family. You know why? Because his stupid little brother's girlfriend has to go to the place where her dad died. Not where he is buried or anything like that, but where he had the fatal heartattack and died. I am sorry, I may sound a bit insensitive but that is just f*ckin morbid to me. That would be like me wanting to the place where my dad ran off the road and died in his car crash, just not something thats healthy in my perspective for anyone. I can understand visiting the grave site, thats ok, but the place where he died I just don't get it. So, because Taylor's little brother is the baby he and his girlfriend get whatever they want even if its an hour out of the way. So, because of this little detour we probably wouldn't be back till 8:30 or 9 that night. There is no way I will ask someone to wait for me till that late on a Sunday night knowing full well they have to work the next day and that they are a person who works at a college and the person who directs classes and stuff on the first day. Which by the way Monday would be the first day of school. So, I said as nicely as I am capable of at this point that would not do, and that Leah would have to go. Now here is where the story changes, because when they proposed this trip a couple of days ago, they said there wasn't enough room in a Tahoe for Leah to ride, but tonight the story is well we just had the Tahoe cleaned. So, now they just don't want her there. Well, I said then if Leah can't go because you don't want to get back till late then I guess I will just have to stay home, and then continued to say that I thought that it was shitty that I would have to stay home just because you don't want my dog in your vehicle. Then I get the response that well we will just have to figure something out. Leah is perfectly capable of going and eating there and going to the bathroom there, I can pick up after her. She has no problem with riding in 4 hour stints. There is no real reason other than Leah is a dog and she sheds that she can't go. I offered to be nice and leave her home trying to stomach their unsupportiveness once again, but when you won't work with me in return then I am sorry, thats when I stop being helpful. This really frustrates me and I am supposed to find out tomorrow on the subject and I have a feeling I just might end up blowing a gasket and pissing off alot of people and at this point I don't really care. I am just tired of being cast off because I choose to use a dog as my mobility aid and not a person, like Taylor does. Its really frustrating and just wanted to throw this out for you blogger people and see what you guys thought.

Thats all for now stay tuned for what happens next,
Amanda Ellen and Leah

A very blah posting.

Ok, so not guaranteeing the greatness of this post, because 1 its late and 2 I am really just worn smooth out. So today was cool, we got groceries like every monday it seems like here lately. But then after getting groceries, I got asked if I wanted to go get Leah some more dog food while we were out. I was very excited since I had said I needed to go but no plans had been made as to when we would. So, we got to Petsmart and I decided to see if my PetsMart had a vet clinic, and suprise they do. So, I asked if they could clip Leah's toe nails for me, and it turned out to be cheaper than my normal vet. Bonus! But it gets better, I went to get her dog food, which is a Purina Pro Plan sensitive skin and stomach formula, and I always buy the 33 lb bag since it lasts a couple of months. Well, score # 2 I got the last bag! Score # 3 for the day, it was about $10 cheaper this time then it was last time I bought it! I was really excited. But here's the fail on PetsMart part, they didn't have a real big selection of Nyla Bones, I was/still am looking for a really big chocolate nyla bone. I had one that was kinda small before well 2 of them really, but they both have seemed to gone missing. Leah really liked them and thats as close to dairy she can get without triggering an ear infection. Besides what girl doesn't like chocolate? lol. Well, the only Nyla Bones that Petsmart had was of course the regular ones, and this funky chicken flavored one that was mint flavored in the middle. I found that rather strange and passed on it. I was wanting to actually lay hands on some of these other Nyla Bones before I bought them to see if I thought Leah would like them. Well, then the guy proceeds to try and sell me a raw hide that is bbq flavored and I had to pass on that as well. I don't much like rawhides in the house, they make a mess. Well, then we looked at some other toys and found some squeaker toys that were shaped like a donut and a cupcake that were made of some tougher rubber. I held them down for Leah to check out, and Oh My Gosh, this dog actually turned her head away and totally dissed them. I never have seen Leah turn away a squeaker toy before, guess these weren't her kind of squeaker or something lol. So, we just decided to get what the mother in law needed for her yorkie brat and she showed me these treats that her pooch loves. Get this one, banna chips with chicken around the outside. Really, who comes up with these dog treats and toys. Rather strange combos if you ask me. So I decided against them since Chicken isn't really something we have definately ruled out as an allergie and they were 10 dollars for this bag. I figure I can spend 2 bucks at wal mart and get her banna chips which I know she likes and I know she isn't allergic to. Well, on the way home Taylor's mom actually bought us lunch! Score #4 for the day, it was awesome. Oh, I forgot to tell you about Leah after she got her nails clipped. She was extremely stimulated after they brought her back out of the room they clipped her nails in. I almost couldn't get her harness back on. She was all waggy and sniffy, and very excited and wanted to love all over me. I had to ask what all did you do to my dog back there. The lady was like nothing just clipped her nails, she was very good and stood still the whole time. I guess Leah just really doesn't like going off with strangers and then those strangers messing with her feet. I mean, she really doesn't like her feet messed with by people she knows and is comfortable around. But Leah got her pedicure and is now ready for the big first day of School on Monday. Oh, speaking of school, I think I will die. We are running on the 17th day of triple digit temps and high humidity and My archery class is outside, for an hour at 11 in the morning which is really like the hottest time of the day if not close to it. I think I'll have to bring a change of clothes to compensate for all the sweat from just being outside. Its really the humidity that kills, and makes you sweat buckets from just standing there. Hopefully it won't last long or I may just lose some weight from just being outside. Lord knows when they will get my accomodations for that class, so I prob won't be shooting a bow for a few weeks. Well, I am looking forward to it though, I could stand the weight loss. Oh, and the Rangers are setting me up for dissapointment, because we started a 3 game stint against the Tampa Bay Rays tonight and we lost after we couldn't properly play our defense. So Tampa Bay came back and beat us 6-4 after we took the lead from them when they lead us 2-0 early in the game. So, because of this three game stint, I am not friends with RO, a very good online friend of mine till its over because she is a Tampa Bay Rays fan. So, we can be friendly as long as the game isn't on. But even then we try to keep it clean ;) Well, like I said I can't vouch for the content of this post because the more I write the more tired I get and the more I realize that maybe I shouldn't have had to glasses of Tea today, I feel a caffinne migraine coming on. I think its time to call it quits.

Until next time,
Amanda Ellen and Leah "Mommy's Little Princess"

Fall 2010 plans and some other Ramblings.

Ok, so I wanted to start to take this thing in a new direction. I need to be a happier person and thanks to RO and introducing me to baseball I think I have started to be. So, I wanted to see if anyone was interested in what I was taking this fall. I am taking 13 hours this semester which at the moment doesn't seem like a whole lot, but I also haven't started the classes yet.
So, heres my schedule
Monday
11:00-11:50 Archery 1 Beginning Archery
1:00-1:50 Special Topics Literature Class "On the Hunt for Count Dracula"
Wednesday Repeat schedule
Friday
Repeat Schedule
Pretty interesting huh? Nah, I am taking Biology 1 for non majors online along with Business Law 1, Wellness Fitness 1, and Orientation
I am just taking orientation for a GPA booster because the new catalog requires it to graduate and the PE classes I am king for GPA boosters as well, but also because I could use the exercise. I had a friend talk me out of optin out of PE by turning in my letter saying I am disabled and unable to do PE because I can do PE blindness is my only problem. Lets see, and I am taking the Special topics Literature class because I really love the teacher and I love the topic. I don't really need anymore literature, I have fulfilled my sophmore literature requirements. Business LAw is a 300 or 400 level class at the college I want to transfer to, but transferring is not in the cards right now so I just figured I would go ahead and take it while I am here and I needed the hours. Biology will be the second half of my lab science requirements. I had another blind friend who took it with the same teacher I am taking it from and she says it is a piece of cake, which I think anything could be compared to Astronomy. *shudders* Still not sure how I managed to pull a B out of Astronomy, that class was a nightmare. I also have one person who is willing to help me with all my classes that I need help with if its needed, and my friend who works at the school is taking Archery with me and her daughter is too! I like them both alot and this ought to make this Archery class very interesting. Wellness and Fitness is just a walking/jogging cclass. I will walk on my treadmill and document how long I did it and at the end of the semester I will have to go to school and walk 5 laps around the campus. This is why I say I could use the excerise these are promising to offer what I need. The best motivation for me is getting a good grade and if I can get a grade for excersising then so be it! Right now my GPA thanks to Astronomy for not destroying it is 3.1 so I really want to get my GPA up to at least a 3.5 by the time I graduate so that I can graduate with honors just once :) I need a 3.5 to do that. I am really ready to go back to school, taking this summer off has really killed me, I am ready to go stir crazy sometimes, but baseball has helped out alot in that department. Not to mention that Pre Season football has started to so I really have lots to look forward to. The Rangers finish out a 3 game series against the Red Sox tonight, and start a 3 game series against the Rays tomorrow. And because of this 3 game series against the Rays I can't be friends with the person who got me into baseball and possibly saving my life, because she is a Rays fan. So it will be a long but interesting 3 days. I can't wait to see how it plays out. Pre season football has been ok so far, got a lot of injuries in the first pre season game that could really hurt our regular season play, but have faith that this year our kicker is actually worth a damn which really has me excited. Its been really hot here, they said today marks the 15th straight day of ttriple digit temps and no rain. I am really jealous of my mom in PA because she said today it may have been 70 degrees no humidity really and its raining. She said she had to put on long sleeves and pants and curl up with a blanket with only a fan on. Really makes me jealous right about now. I love fall when its not too hot but its also not freezing. I like that time of year. I don't like to freeze and I don't like to stand out side for 5 mins and be drenched in sweat either. But because its hot, Leah and I have not done a whole lot. She wants to g outside and play, but we can only do that at night when its some what cooler, its still hot but its tolerable. Taylor has been playing with her more than I have lately, because she just wants to love on her momma and eat her daddy up. Its a nice balance I think. But for the most part she seems content to lay in the floor and soak the A/C up and sleep. She realizes after we go out side for more than like 10 mins its hot and wants back in pretty quick. We start school on the 23rd so we will start back in the swing of things. uUsually I take Tuesday and Thursday classes, but felt like a change this semester and am going Monday,Wednesday, and Friday. Gives Leah and I more time out of the house. Because Our classes start at 11 and are over at 2 we can work with someone on Biology and whatever I need help with from 2 till 4:30. So its working out well because we can do that 3 days a week instead of 2. Instead of labs for biology though, mmmy teacher wants 2 five page papers. One is a bio topic that could be controversial and the other one is to be about an endangered species. Jess, my other blind friend, is taking classes from Tarleton this semester and got signed up for a Intro Business class against her better judgement and said she would do my papers if I could help do her business class... still thinking about that one, it might not be a bad trade off. I told her I would have to see the book and everything first. She after all did these same papers and made an A in the class.
Well, I think I have rambled enough for one posting. I said this posting would be school related and other Ramblings and I think I did just that.

See you all next time,
Amanda Ellen

My plans for Spring 2011

Ok, so here goes what I think could be possibilities for spring 2011
Plan A:
I take business law 2 from Hill like I planed. Then I take principles of marketing from Tarleton proper in Stephenville if its offered online along with Statistics. That would give me 9 hours. Leaving me a 3 hour time slot. If I could find something from Tarleton proper that would go towards my bachelors that could fill that slot online then this would work out really great. If I can’t then I try to find some useless bullshitt class to take at Hill to fill the 3 hour time slot.
Ok, so far its still looking good.
If this plan works then I can do dual enrollment, and graduate from Hill in the spring as planned. Then in the fall I can start to complete the degree from Tarleton the e-college and everything should fall into place from there, with the exception of finding tutors/readers when they are needed.
The only concern I have with the e-college is what are the accomadations going to be like for me, will they be able to do the same as Tarleton proper and get my books in electronic format. This is a must for me. I do well if you give me my books, give me my assignments, and if I need it someone to work with me on things my computer doesn’t read right or at all and leave me the hell alone. If I don’t want someone to work with me at home, I am sure I could find a way to Hill and am like 99.9% sure they wouldn’t mind letting me use a space there to work. I plan on leaving and becoming an Alumni in good graces. Ok, so this is still sounding good so far even though there are a lot of variables.

Now I move on to plan B:

Plan B is rather simple. I just take Business Law 2 from Hill with some other business classes that may or may not be helpful to me later on or if I can’t take business classes then I take bullshit meaningless classes just to fill the 9 hour void I would have. I then graduate from Hill once again in good graces, and start the online portion of my bachelors degree in the fall as planned. Since Tarleton e-college says the degree won’t be available till fall of 2011.

Here’s my big deal. If the Tarleton e-college doesn’t have ADA services I would be screwed, because I can find my own help, but I can’t get my books in electronic format on my own since I am not an employee at an institution. And since the publishers usually require you to buy the book before they will give you an electronic copy, can I just go get my books from the Tarleton proper book store or do I have to order them like the Tarleton e-college suggests you do. If I have to order them, will this be able to work with my book voucher that I get from DARS (my blind counselor)

These are things to ponder, but not the end of the world. I am going to finish this and will do something with my life, and not just sit on my butt and wish I could’ve done something to get me out or to make more money than the government is willing to give me to live on.


Ok, I feel better and will keep this for the future reference that will be spring semester, because I can’t say for definite anything right now since fall hasn’t even started yet. But Tarleton proper will have their spring schedule ready before Hill will. Oh, and one more thing, I just hope there won’t be any problems if I take classes from Tarleton proper with them transferring to the e-college.

Ok, I am done and thanks for reading.



Hope you enjoy,
Amanda Ellen

Feeling out of sorts or is it depressed??

Well, not sure what you would call it out of sorts, depressed or maybe guilty. I am just not feeling like a very good doggie mom right now. I have this sinking feeling that Leah is bored and I can't really do much about it. We have tried to play indoor games, I tried to play outside for a bit, but nothing is really making me feel like she is entertained. I can't take her out for a walk for one, I don't know my neighborhood that well and for two I don't trust the people in my neighborhood well enough to go out by myself, and for 3 I really hate getting lost. So, yeah I feel pretty low on the totem pole right now. In fact I am just going to say it, I feel pretty damn shitty. Its time like these I go back on my theory on why I don't allow myself to have many friends and wish I could have one sighted friend that could take the time to help me get my dog out at least once or twice a week just so I feel like she is stimulated and I don't feel bad for thinking she is bored. Ugh, I won't say I wish I could see because then I wouldn't have Leah, but I just will say that I wish I had one sighted person around that could help us get out. I am almost thinking I should of taken some bullshit summer class just to guarantee that we got out and Leah got some work in this summer. I am supposed to get groceries tomorrow, and I have this sneaking suspicion that I won't be able to take Leah, because my stupid mother in law and father in law don't want Leah in the stupid Tahoe. Maybe she will bring her car and I can take Leah, that would be nice then I would feel like she got some exercise in. I would refuse to go with her to get groceries since they won't allow my dog in that vehicle, but there is no one else to take me to get groceries and we are really running low on the necessities. *sigh* sometimes life really blows and all I want to do is curl up in bed and cry. I want to be left alone and left to cry there until I feel better...But I can't even do that. So I will whine and tell all you people in cyber space my problems and want to cry, but won't let myself break like that. I guess if it comes to it, I will just work her up and down this driveway that runs in front of my house that goes into the apartments behind me. I would like to live in a actual neighborhood where there are blocks and stuff or back in the apartments where I felt comfortable walking around the complex..but its not only my decision, and iI wouldn't like the apartments much because I wouldn't be able to have my own washer and dryer...Ugh, maybe If I go out side and scream I'll feel better? Right then someone would call the cops thinking someone has been hurt, not many people who live around me speak english. *sigh* oOh well, life goes on and I'll survive.

Amanda and Leah "The Princess" who's mommy thinks is really bored.

The word of the day is....

Well, the word of the day is unwanted. I am so frustrated. Sometimes I just wonder if its so bad that I have days that I just want to get out and run away...I not going into the details about everything because I am sure no one really wants to know all that. I just want him to want me more than he wants hiself if that makes sense. I hope it does because I am no in the mood for explaining. He makes me feel very unwanted, very stupid, stupid sometimes, but there are times that he makes me feel wonderful, the luckiest girl ever, like no one could ever love me as much as he does, and makes me feel like all in the world is right. I am just not sure what to think or what to do. I want to talk about it, but he won't listen or care. If he does listen he will just tell me I am being stupid and its my fault. Well I don't see him coming up with anything to make it any better or less boring...but its my fault. WTF? But really...times like these makes me wish I could see, so I could just hop in my car and go for a drive to clear my head...like I used to be able to do. Those drives always made me feel better...nothing but me, the road, my car, and the radio. I could cry or get pissed off and not have to worry about who was watching or listening. I could drive myself far enough away for enough time to make myself feel better, since no one else wants to help in that matter. So, really this my major upset with being blind. Its times like these I wish I could see and I get all depressed. I just guess I need to get stuff off my chest and no one wants to listen so I am just going to write it out and who ever wants to listen can, and if you don't well then don't. He just makes me feel like nothing I do can be good enough sometimes...but once again...I don't see him coming up with something new...So it can't be all my fault...Sometimes the backyard is just not enough space for me...sometimes I just would like to be able to take a walk or once again take a drive...this the most frustrating part. The other is him, and then the other is no one to listen to make me feel better. I know I am repeating myself and I am sorry for that...Its just that I am just frustrated and pissed off and lets not forget hurt. I feel so imperfect...well worse than that. I feel like damaged goods..so damaged that all the kings horses and all the kings men couldn't put Amanda back together again. I can't cry, because I am so pissed off...and I know that crying would prob make me feel a bit better...Why can't life be like a book...You meet prince charming, fall in love, have 2.5 kids, and a dog and live happily ever after? Or is that just my life that can't be like a fairy tale? It seems there alot of people that are very happy all the time with their husbands and boyfriends...but guess thats not in the cards for me. Another word for the day is worthless, it just came to mind. I feel unwanted and worthless. Like I hold no value to anyone or anything. I really wonder how healthy this is for a persons self esteem...I really do. Not that there was much there to start with....So much to say, so much I won't say and why? Because he won't care. He only sometimes cares when I throw a fit, cry and bawl, and say I don't understand why we are both still here if I make him so unhappy. Then he might actually care. Then he might actually listen. Only then. I have a million and one things I should be doing right now, but who wants to do anything whenyou have no feeling of self worth...whats it going to matter if I do these things..is anyone really goin to care or will they be like eeverything else I do and go unnoticed. That is the story of my life, going unnoticed...unless someone wants someone they can emotionally or physically beat up on. I am just too soft.
But I guess I am done with this for now...I don't have anything else to say and its not helping any...

Thanks for the time,
Amanda

Remembering what I can...

Ok, so all this talk of going to class to get guide dogs on my guide dog list is making me remember when I went and got Leah. I remember dog day and how I didn't think it could have come soon enough. Then they wanted to kill us with suspense without telling us anything about the dogs we were getting before we got them. Then I asked "Can you at least tell us the name of our dog before we meet them?" and of course they talked it over and gave us not only the names, buut the sex and breed and color of our dogs. When I heard "Amanda, you will be receiving a yellow female lab named Leah" I couldn't believe it. It all seemed so real. Leah...it was a really normal name, not something really off the wall. I was happy, because that is everything I asked for. Then off to our rooms to wait to be called to the instructors office to meet our dogs or in my case Leah. I was so nervous. I new I had a little while to wait because I was so far down the hall. So I was calling everyone telling them I haven't gotten her yet but here is what I know. I swear I was pacing the floor and probably smoked a half a pack while waiting. Then someone came in and said "Amanda, are you ready to meet Ms. Leah?" I was so excited and was like "Ready as I am ever going to be." Then we walked down the hall way and I sat on the couch and was talking with the instructors all the time looking around for where this pup was that was going to be mine. Until finally they were like "Amanda, meet Leah." and they handed me her leash and I almost started crying right then and there. She was so pretty and she was very friendly. She came up to me butt waggling and nose working. She was very interested in me as a new person, but she was also still attached to the instructors. Finally as we talked about her parents, her birthday, and maybe her grandparents and other quirky things about her, she layed down at my feet and decided it was nap time. I was in love. I got back to my room and was calling everyone again telling them "I got Leah I got Leah. She is so beautiful! She is very friendly too!" then I went on to tell them all about her and gave them the descrip the instructors had given me. "She is about 22 inches tall, a very light yellow but not so much yellow. She has the biggest saddest brown eyes. Those big brown eyesare perfectly lined with black, making look like she has eyeliner on. She is very long and lean. Very athleticly built!" then once all the phone calls were said and done I spent my quality time with Leah. Not sure how to play with her since I had no real toys yet and wasn't sure what she liked, I just layed on the floor with her and cuddled. She was so cute throwing a paw up when I wrapped my arms around her. Then turning her head to me and trying to give me kisses like she was really happy she was mine. It almost made me cry again. Then I found the harness they had given me and just looked it over going "Wow I am going to be holding this harness for Leah to guide me around and through all kinds of stuff" Then I layed on my bed and just thought "This is amazing, never in a million years would I have thought I would be here in Boring, OR after flying here all by myslef blind..man this is awesome." Then I dirfted off to sleep for a quick nap while Leah napped on her matt in the floor.
This is my dog day story and it sticks with me. I love my little furball, she may not be perfect but she is mine. Really thats all I can ask for. Thats the story of my life, "They may not be perfect, but they're mine!"

Happy reading,
Amanda Ellen and Leah "My little Princess"

A corporate Scandal!

Well, I have been trying to keep myself busy with anything but homework the last few days. Now, I realize I maybe shouldn't have done that..those deadlines are looming and kind of scaring me. Oh, well...I started my first project today. Well at least researching it. I have to write a 2 page paper on a recent corporate scandal and point out what supervisory issues there were and how if they had done the managerial side of things right, there would have been no scandal. So I was really trying to think of something that everyone else wasn't going to write about. I feel for my teacher because I am sure she will have quite a few papers on the most recent Toyota scandal. sSo, I Googled "Coporrate Scandal" and Wikipedia came up with a link saying "A List of Coporate Scandals" and I thought OMG! This what I need. So I went looking through some of them and picked the first one. It is about HP and how they illegally obtained people's personal information backin 2006, which is apparently recent. I thought it was because they were still getting charges brought against them through Augus t of 2009. Anyways, I think I have bored you enough with my homework. I have been helping my blind friend clean up her house. She can't do it by herself because she is in kidney failure and is doing Dialysis 3 times a week and doesn't always feel 100%. So, I have just really been trying to be there for her when she needs someone. So, I helped her clean her bathroom on Thursday and rearrange a bedroom and clean it out on Friday. It feels good to help someone I care about. Not to mention Leah loves to play with Tessie. Tessie is Jessica's (my friend) dog from GDB. Tessie is a almost 5 year old yellow female lab. She is the second best friend of Leah's of course to Dutchess mom's weenie dog. lol. So they got to play together and Jessica's son Trenton loves to play with Leah because all though she is constantly sick with an ear infection she is usually up for playing. So Taylor got to babysit while Jessica and I moved stuff around. Well, it was nice to have the sightling around. The sightling is Jason Jessica's husband. He also made it easier to move alot of that heavier stuff since Jess couldn't pick up on it. Speaking on the topic of Leah. I took her back into the vet on Wednesday and it was another ear infection. So he put some more medicine in it and told us to come back in two more weeks. Well, I had him contact Guide Dogs for the Blind, the School that Leah came from, I wanted him to chat with Dr. Patty in the Oregon vet clinic to see what she thought we could about all these ear infections. Well the general concensus was a dog food swap. So, now we are trying Purina Pro Plan Salmon & Rice formula. If this doesn't work then we are going to have the full blown allergy test to find everything she is allergic to and most likely go to allergy shots. I really hope that doesn't happen. I feel so bad for my pup because she has good days and bad days with her ears and sometimes I feel like it just gets her down. Well, I think I've said enoough tonight. Sorry if I bored you.

Amanda Ellen and Leah "The Princess" who is having a semi-good day!

What a busy day!

Ok, so today was sort of busy! I had to go exchange a book at the college bookstore(I will go into that in a minute), then go to the bank, then off to walmart to get Taylor's valentines present, Which I hope he likes, then we went to Walgreens to try and find conversation hearts...You know those hearts I am sure you all ate when you were younger..the ones that had sayings on them and were really chalky. Well no such luck in finding them. All they have now a days are Sweethearts which are kind of the same but they taste like a sweet tart. Well, those just won't do Taylor doesn't like them lol. So then after that off to the vet to get Leah's ears checked again after the ear infection she had about a week and a half ago...Well we found out the ear infection was back! Yeah, so my vet wants to run a full allergy test that costs about $350 and I can't afford it. So I asked him to contact GDB and see if he could convince them to pay for it so we could her on the proper medicine to get rid of these ear infections once and for all. So he put more medicine in her ears and gave her another shot. Then told us to come back in two more weeks to check them again. Hopefully he will have contacted GDB by then. So thats alwayss nice to hear that my best girl isn't feeling good because of this crud in her ears. Then back home to visit with Taylor's grandparents for a bit. Then I tried to catch a nap but that didn't happen because then my grandmother called to tell me that she received the package of movies I had bought her for her birthday and to tell me how much she loved them! I felt really good knowing I found something she actually liked. She is really hard to shop for lol. Then I called mom to tell her about Leah's ear infections and how the vet wants to run the testing. He also told me that depending on how the test comes back we may have to progress to allergy shots! I really hope we don't have to go that route. Leah hates shots and giving her one every other day will really break my heart! But any who, then I decided to cook supper! We had hamburger helper the 4 cheese lasagna kind. I made it a bit different tonight because I used deer meat in stead of regular hamburger meat. Its ok, but we have lots of leftovers. Ok, so on to my bookstore story.
Ok, so we thought that something was kind of fishy when at the start of the semester I only needed one book for two of my classes. Well, we just figured that it was because it had the same instructor and the two classes were kind of related. Well, come to find out today one month into the semester that I had the wrong book! I had to buy the book to get an e-book that I could read on my own, but now I have the wrong e-book too! So I exchanged my wrong book for one of my ones I needed because my tutor/friend had the other one. So now I get to wait 2 more weeks to get two more e-books that I can read. Can anyone say homework pile up? lol...Its going to be a nightmare! Oh, well I just will do what I can in the mean time and not let my other classes get behind and possibly try to get ahead since I can't do anything with the two classes I currently have no books for. Its just been an eventful day. I am supposed to start tutoring tomorrow to finish my astronomy. I know I was supposed to start Tuesday, but my tutor canceled on me. So, I get to try and make it tomorrow. Then getting to spend time with my friend Jess and her hubby Jason and their darling little boy Trenton. He is a handfull..I might talk Jason in taking me back to walmart so I can get Trenton something for Valentines day..He's only almost 2 but kids love that kind of stuff. So I think I might get him that Longhorns sippy cup his momma has been wanting to get him and some candy. Kids love candy right? lol Oh, well...time to bring this busy day to a close and get ready for another one tomorrow! So here's goes nothing. I am going to bed!

Amanda Ellen & Leah my poor sick, pooped baby girl.

I know, I know..I missed you guys yesterday!

Ok,I know I didn't post yesterday and I am sort of sorry for that. But yesterday was awesome! Taylor decided to have an "us" day where we spent all day together and did nothing really. We watched movies andwatched the Pro Bowl and ate Frito Pie. He feel asleep towards the end of the game so I had to give him a nudge to get to bed around 11. Then for that little stinker to wake me up at 4 this morning! I was soo not happy. I didn't get back to sleep until like 7:30-8 this morning just to get up around 10:45...Oh well. I went to the doc today and had a mole removed off my back that he said looked infected..not sure how that happened but whatever. He also gave me some medicine to take to help me stay asleep instead of waking up every 20-30 mins every night. Going to give them a try to night and he told me to give them a bit and if they don't work...then I can move to "the Big Boy stuff" that just made me laugh soo hard. He says he doesn't want to jump straight to a habit forming drug just yet since I am only 22. I also told him how my mom has the same issue and he said it could be hereditary. I was like cool thanks mom for another problem. lol...So, I start tutoring/reading tomorrow with my new tutor/reader for the astronomy class I didn't finish last semester! Yay! NOT! I hate this class sooo bad...but really if I can just buckle down and finish it I can have that time to concentrate on other things going on with my school work. By The Way I should probably be doing homework now...but I am really just too tired *yawn* So I guess I will end it here maybe read some more on Supervision and get ready for bed.

Have a nice night!
Amanda Ellen

Whew What a day!

Ok, so I had to start reading all this management crap for two of my classes I am taking online. Man oh Man! I have no desire to be a manager after just one chapter..lol. I still have my supervision book to start and Moby Dick to start as well..and my brain is just too fried to even try right now. To add to it all, yesterday I was officially eligible for an upgrade on my AT&T pphone and not sure what route I want to go with this. My options as of right now are:
Upgrading my Mobile Speaks and getting either:
A HTC Pure or
a HP IPaq Glisten
or
I can get an IPhone and not upgrade my Mobile Speaks.
The Pure and upgrading my mobile speaks seems the cheapest way to go, but I have no clue what the new Mobile Speak is like. So to solve that issue my boyfriend is downloading the trial on his old HTC Fuze (Touch Pro on other carriers) to see if I can figure it out. He is kind of pressuring me into figuring out what I want to upgrade to, and I just have no frickin clue! The best way to go or so I tell him is to keep what I got..outdated as it is..its free right now. No matter what I upgrade to I am going to have to pay an extra $ 30 a month for data because I have to have a smart phone to run mobile speaks and the IPhone requires data anyways and its just no fun with out it. I am just lost and not sure which way I want to go. Either way I need to save some money if I am going the IPhone route because I can't afford it right now. I can afford the Pure and Mobile Speaks at one time, and I would have to buy one, one month and one the next month if I went with the HP IPaq Glisten. This is the curses of living with a tech geek. I know too much about whats out there and I actually care! I used to be fine with my old outdated stuff and now I want the newest and coolest thing on the block! Thats hard to live with when you don't have the money to get them! Back to my classes I have to find a corporate scandal thats pretty recent and talk about how if the management was different then maybe things wouldn't have been the way they are. I have to make that two pages! This is going to eat my lunch. Then for another class I have to interview two managers and write a two page paper on that. Then I forget what the project is for the third class...and those three projects are due on the same day!! Not to mention I have to read, read, and read some more because I have exams to do for those three classes that are all due on the same day as well!! I think I am just going to curl up and cry. But the bright side of all this is by the time this semester is over I will have my certificate in Business Management. Not sure what you do with that...but I will have it. Does that make me sound like the professional college student I am?
Oh, Joy! Sounds like Taylor has Mobile Speaks installed! So here I go to try and figure it out Wish me luck!

Amanda Ellen and Leah who doesn't care about phones or classes!

I guess sort of an introduction?

Well, Hello World!
I am Amanda, a 22 year old college student living somewhere close to the Dallas/Ft. Worth area of Texas. I live with my guide dog Leah and my boyfriend Taylor. I have been dating Taylor for 3 years this April 23! Some days I swear it feels more like 30. lol. So, Leah is a 3 year old yellow lab and is always full of energy, but can go to sleep at the drop of a hat. I wish I could sleep as sound as she does. It must be nice. I have the ultimate goal of becoming a tax accountant one day, but it seems like it is taking forever. I have to go all the way to a masters to be able to sit for the CPA exam and thats if I pass it the first around. Wow! Taylor is 22 years old as well. He is also blind, but he also is diabetic. His diabetes had nothing to do with his blindness though. So, since there isn't really a whole lot of public transportation in this town, Taylor's mom helps do most of what we need done as far as going places. So, thats really nice. I have friends that help too. So its really nice to have some support when its needed. I guess thats really it. If I think of something else I will come back and add it in. Hope you enjoy!

Amanda Ellen