Well, not sure what you would call it out of sorts, depressed or maybe guilty. I am just not feeling like a very good doggie mom right now. I have this sinking feeling that Leah is bored and I can't really do much about it. We have tried to play indoor games, I tried to play outside for a bit, but nothing is really making me feel like she is entertained. I can't take her out for a walk for one, I don't know my neighborhood that well and for two I don't trust the people in my neighborhood well enough to go out by myself, and for 3 I really hate getting lost. So, yeah I feel pretty low on the totem pole right now. In fact I am just going to say it, I feel pretty damn shitty. Its time like these I go back on my theory on why I don't allow myself to have many friends and wish I could have one sighted friend that could take the time to help me get my dog out at least once or twice a week just so I feel like she is stimulated and I don't feel bad for thinking she is bored. Ugh, I won't say I wish I could see because then I wouldn't have Leah, but I just will say that I wish I had one sighted person around that could help us get out. I am almost thinking I should of taken some bullshit summer class just to guarantee that we got out and Leah got some work in this summer. I am supposed to get groceries tomorrow, and I have this sneaking suspicion that I won't be able to take Leah, because my stupid mother in law and father in law don't want Leah in the stupid Tahoe. Maybe she will bring her car and I can take Leah, that would be nice then I would feel like she got some exercise in. I would refuse to go with her to get groceries since they won't allow my dog in that vehicle, but there is no one else to take me to get groceries and we are really running low on the necessities. *sigh* sometimes life really blows and all I want to do is curl up in bed and cry. I want to be left alone and left to cry there until I feel better...But I can't even do that. So I will whine and tell all you people in cyber space my problems and want to cry, but won't let myself break like that. I guess if it comes to it, I will just work her up and down this driveway that runs in front of my house that goes into the apartments behind me. I would like to live in a actual neighborhood where there are blocks and stuff or back in the apartments where I felt comfortable walking around the complex..but its not only my decision, and iI wouldn't like the apartments much because I wouldn't be able to have my own washer and dryer...Ugh, maybe If I go out side and scream I'll feel better? Right then someone would call the cops thinking someone has been hurt, not many people who live around me speak english. *sigh* oOh well, life goes on and I'll survive.
Amanda and Leah "The Princess" who's mommy thinks is really bored.
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hang in there, hun. I know how you feel, at least to a certain extent! I lived in a similar situation when my son was very young and it was miserable. Call if you'd like to talk. I'm here for ya!
ReplyDeleteIs there a local blind center there that could give you some O & M help? That's how I'm getting out with Jayden lately, is the O & M lessons. Can you take a cab to the mall? It sounds like you're gonna have to get comfortable around that neighborhood somehow, or figure out a form of transportation like the bus or cabs, to get out and get stuff done on your own. Seems like a local blind center could help. Hmmm, don't know. I start feeling the same guilt with Jayden, and we're only staying in because it's hot, but I find other ways of getting him work.
ReplyDeleteOr hey what about a local puppy club, even if it's a different school? Mine was really interested in having me and Jayden around, and I bet they could help you find stuff to do.
ReplyDeleteThe closest thing to a puppy club would be down around Natalie, and thats like 4 or 5 hours away and no O&M help around here unless I use my mother in law. Guess I'll just have to venture out on my own and call it good. Not a very blind friendly city I live in. Thanks for the ideas though RO.
ReplyDeleteOk, 1 move to San Antonio, 2 I think a lot of it is just because it is summer time that you are feeling like that, seriously, Darrell and Egypt are the same way and he says the same thing about taking a summer course for Egypt's benefit. lol. I agree with Ro, get a taxi or something and get out there and just try new things, especially at a mall, there will always be someone around willing to help you out if you get lost. I have started forcing Darrell to go into stores that he knows alone, the people know him and he gets help immediately. You just need to build up relationships like that you know. Don't get too down, it happens to all of us, even us sighties - I felt guilty about not taking Bob anywhere on my little week off.. he got to swim and stuff but I didn't have him work anywhere and I felt terrible about it.. in defense though every time I went somewhere he was still wet and smelly lol.
ReplyDeleteOh and tell the In laws to get over it... Darrell's mom tried to pull that kind of thing with me about letting Bob into her house... she wanted me to keep him in the garage - I was like "uh no" plus, GDTX doesn't allow our dogs to stay outside lol. I used that as a last result though, didn't need it by that time but kinda helped haha.
ReplyDeletelast resort - sorry for all the posts lol
ReplyDeleteLol, yeah no problems letting her in the house, even though she has some accidents there, but my point is, is there is no real transportation around here. I would love to move to San Antonio, but its really just too far away from all the fam, so maybe you guys should move north?? lol I am glad someone else feels like I do. Going to the in laws this weekend and plan playing lots with Leah in a bigger area, that will make me feel lots better. Plus she got to work getting groceries Tuesday...
ReplyDeleteNatalie I'm really glad to hear that Amanda and I aren't alone with this hot weather ick. GDB had told me Jayden would be fine as long as I found little things here and there and did plenty of play, but it's always good to hear about other handlers going through the same things. Summer sucks.
ReplyDeleteMaybe we should all move to Waco or Austin and be right in the middle lol. Also, don't forget about daily obedience lessons, they work wonders if you can't work for a day - at least something to stimulate their minds you know. I agree Ro, summer sucks lol.
ReplyDeleteWaco, I won't do. Who wants to live in Wacky Waco? Austin, I might do. They do have a really nice bus system...
ReplyDeleteMy grandparents live in Waco! lol Well, its a small town just north or Waco called Hewitt but its a nice place. We went about 2 weeks ago and Darrell and I had to make a trip to H.E.B. for my grandma, we walked in and immediately said he wanted to move there because it was so quiet. Not like it is here in San Antonio.
ReplyDeleteWell, Cleburne isn't as busy as San Antonio I am sure, but the public transportation sucks. All we have is what is called Cletran, and it mainly services the blue haired old ladies that can't/won't drive and its almost impossible to get a ride anywhere at the time you need it.
ReplyDeleteA friend of my grandma's moved to Waco for work, he's actually an O & M instructor, and he ended up moving to St. Louis not long after. He said the people in Waco actually called him and his family aliens and his kids were getting taunted at school. Apparently they don't like outsiders. He got nothing but attitude at work for bein an alien. It was really awful. I'm sure there are nice people there too, but the bad eggs really give it a bad name.
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