Ok, so I am "paying it forward" Some nice person in my lit class payed for my ticket for me to go see the local group of drama people put on the show "Dracula" with the rest of my class. So in honor of that since that person won't accept me paying them back, I am helping another person. This person is a good friend of mine, she is older than me but she is a really awesome lady. She is getting custody of her grandson due to some issues with the mom which is her daughter. Well I think its awesome she is taking him, but she and her husband don't make a whole lot of money to start with, and they never had any boys. So, I am rounding up people to help her out getting some boy stuff gathered up for the kiddo. I have heard him on the phone before and he sounds like a real sweet kid, and I would love to help my friend anyway I can. So, I called other friends who have kids and know people who have kids and we are slowly gathering up some toys for him. One of the Dean's at school is helping out my friend by donating an old bedroom suite her little boy had..so thats cool. Oh, my friend works at the school so its nothing weird. I wanted to get him some clothes since his mom didn't have a lot of money to buy him clothes and he is currently sharing some clothes with his sister, but his size is yet to be known yet. So, I plan on going to goodwill once he arrives and we know what size we need and buying him a few suits of clothes. Plus, this is what really has me excited, as long as I have been living on my own I have never had a trick or treater, but this year I will!! So, since the little boy, well he isn't too little he is 7, will be coming to trick or treat me and he will be the only one I am going to make him up something special! I am really excited! I love making other people happy, it makes me happy! So, I just wanted to encourage all of you if you can pay it forward and hope the person you help pays it forward and. This way lots of people get help and we all feel good!
So excited, what should I get for a 7 year old boy in his awesome trick or treat suprise?
Amanda Ellen
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Friday, September 17, 2010
Ok, so this has been a long time coming!
Well I said I would write this when I had some time to myself to not have Taylor hovering, well nows the time. Taylor is safely in bed asleep and I am up all alone, not sure for how much longer, but I am up. So, this igoing to be my real thought provoking post. Not sure why I feel the need to write this, but I do. Lets call it morbid curiosity ok?
Well here goes:
Well, before Taylor my last serious relationship was my "highschool sweetheart" well that relationship lasted for 6 years and could've led to marriage and who knows what else, but things ended sourly when I went blind. He felt that he could treat me like dirt because I could no longer see and run away from the problems as easily. Well I dealt with this for almost a year before I found my exit, blind rehab. I found my courage and had a good network of friends who helped me get through it and helped me move on. The couple of months between this ending and before the start of Taylor and I as a couple was not a time in my life I was real proud of, I did somee things that I would never had done in a normal state of mind, but I felt that I had something to prove to myself and in a way I proved it. I proved that even though I couldn't see didn't change the way I looked to people or the way my ppersonality waremd people. I just went about it the wrong way, the waaayyy wrong way. Tank God for Taylor or who knows where I would be today. But my curiosity comes from the fact of one what would be different if I hadn't gone blind? Where would I be today? Would I have married him like I had planned or would he have proposed at all since I wasn't blind? Ok, and lets go back to the fact that can't be changed, I went blind, if not for my eexperiences in Austin with the blind rehab program would I have stayed in this destructive relationship in hopes it would get better, or would I be in PA with mom and dad alone and wondering what I will do with my life? Things that I ponder from time to time. I also get curious as to how he is doing with his life...I say this but I know its true, but in a way I want to know but I know in my core if I knew he was happy with someone else it would kill me. I am completely over this in every way possible. I am completely and utterly in love with Taylor and not much is going to change that, but it still gives me that pang of pain and jealously because I think no one would have been better to him than me. I can put up with a lot of shit to see something through if I want to. I am just that hard headed, and it can sometimes be a curse and a blessing. I know I should not feel these things, or wonder about these things..its just not healthy...but can't a girl wonder? Then there are times, I think about that last encounter we had together..I was seriously in the wrong.This was part of the time I was not proud of myself or what I was doing. I went into town requested to see him, even though I knew he was dating someone, he came and got me against my mom's better judgement. We went out to dinner which I offered to pay for half of, but he refused..I thought something had changed. We went back to his aprtment he was sharing with some of our old mutual friends which I really wanted to see. I talked to them for a bit, and then we went to his room and started to talk and everyone left us in the apartment by ourselves and well one thing led to another and well yeah...I really considering at this point giving him his umpteenth chance to make things right, then I went back to Austin and back to my "man toys" and he promised me the moon and stars and didn't follow up again, and I fell back into my little vendetta to prove to myself and the world I was worth something to someone. I was at one point "with" 2 guys at one time with one of them 29 when I was 19...not a healthy relationship at all..we met once a weekend to have dinner and well yeah do what 19 year olds do...lol. While during the week I was seeing and doing what 19 year olds do with a 26 or 27 year old guy that was a friend and I was just there when he needed a friend when he had problems with his girlfriend and yeah he left her and I was just there.Keep in mind during this torrid affair, I was like numb, neither of them really mattered to me on a serious level...they were just part of my climb to prove my worth. Yet I still wonder about them from time to time wonder if I had let them matter to me instead of walling myself up what could have came of it all if I could have committed myself to just one of them. But I didn't and Taylor and I got to know each other better because at first we hated each other, I didn't like his attitude and he didn't like the way I was living life. Going out everynight getting drunk or finding somewhere to do it. Living life numb and keeping myself very well protected from anyone who might want to care for me. But some for reason that I will never know that hate turned into tolerance, and that tolerance turned into like and we started hanging out alot. Then that like turned into a friendship, and well that friendship turned into what we have today. I never have had trouble expressing my feelings about someone, but when I wanted to tell Taylor "I love you" the words just could not come out. I couldn't make myself say them. He thought I was really messed up, because I am sure I sounded pretty stupid trying to say this. I attribute this to my months of protecting myself and hiding deep in myself and not allowing myself to feel like this and now I had no control it just happened. I was also afraid of being hurt, I didn't want to say it and him to say ok, that is nice I don't feel the same way. If he had say that I have no idea where I would be today. But he said he loved me too. Neither of us were sure how strong it was, but we got the true test, when he moved back to his parents for a bit while he was waiting to move in with a friend of his close to his parents which was 2 or 3 hours from Austin. I was all about coming to see him every weekend paying my bus ffare there and back just to see him. He was unsure of this and said we would have to play it weekend by weekend, well after that first weekend, I said well let me know when I can come back and yeah well..he shcoked me when he said "You aren't coming back next weekend?" I knew then that this thing was much stronger than either one of us reckoned it would be. Taylor makes me much more happy then anyone else I have ever been with in every possible way. Physical, emotional, mentally..you name it, I am very happy. Sure we have our ups and downs but yeah its still tons better now than it has ever been, but I find myself thinking these morbid curious thoughts when I am having a down. When it just feels like life is hitting me head on. I think I think of these things because I wonder if things would have been easier for me in a different life path. I sometimes wish I could look into a parallel universe and see myself in these different life paths and see what would have happened to me. Am I alone in this thought path? This my deep thoughts that I never have talked to anyone else before about, but I feel that I can trust my blogger family with these screts and they won't go any farther. I have been feeling I need to share these things with someone somewhere but didn't know who without someone judging me for my past or thinking I am ungrateful for what I have or just flat out crazy.
But I am sorry, this doesn't seem to be the great masterpiece I imagined, but I do feel better and a bit skitish because I don't want Taylor catching me at this. So, I'll end it here.
Please feel free to tell me I am crazy or something.
My fave songs for this posting:
Eminem Ft. Rihanna Love the Way You Lie
Gary allan See if I Care
Gary Allan Learning how to Bend
Gary Allan Loving you against my will
Gary Allan Smoke Rings in the Dark
Deep Thoughts and Crazy Ramblings brought to you by
Amanda Ellen and Leah as my only witness.
Well here goes:
Well, before Taylor my last serious relationship was my "highschool sweetheart" well that relationship lasted for 6 years and could've led to marriage and who knows what else, but things ended sourly when I went blind. He felt that he could treat me like dirt because I could no longer see and run away from the problems as easily. Well I dealt with this for almost a year before I found my exit, blind rehab. I found my courage and had a good network of friends who helped me get through it and helped me move on. The couple of months between this ending and before the start of Taylor and I as a couple was not a time in my life I was real proud of, I did somee things that I would never had done in a normal state of mind, but I felt that I had something to prove to myself and in a way I proved it. I proved that even though I couldn't see didn't change the way I looked to people or the way my ppersonality waremd people. I just went about it the wrong way, the waaayyy wrong way. Tank God for Taylor or who knows where I would be today. But my curiosity comes from the fact of one what would be different if I hadn't gone blind? Where would I be today? Would I have married him like I had planned or would he have proposed at all since I wasn't blind? Ok, and lets go back to the fact that can't be changed, I went blind, if not for my eexperiences in Austin with the blind rehab program would I have stayed in this destructive relationship in hopes it would get better, or would I be in PA with mom and dad alone and wondering what I will do with my life? Things that I ponder from time to time. I also get curious as to how he is doing with his life...I say this but I know its true, but in a way I want to know but I know in my core if I knew he was happy with someone else it would kill me. I am completely over this in every way possible. I am completely and utterly in love with Taylor and not much is going to change that, but it still gives me that pang of pain and jealously because I think no one would have been better to him than me. I can put up with a lot of shit to see something through if I want to. I am just that hard headed, and it can sometimes be a curse and a blessing. I know I should not feel these things, or wonder about these things..its just not healthy...but can't a girl wonder? Then there are times, I think about that last encounter we had together..I was seriously in the wrong.This was part of the time I was not proud of myself or what I was doing. I went into town requested to see him, even though I knew he was dating someone, he came and got me against my mom's better judgement. We went out to dinner which I offered to pay for half of, but he refused..I thought something had changed. We went back to his aprtment he was sharing with some of our old mutual friends which I really wanted to see. I talked to them for a bit, and then we went to his room and started to talk and everyone left us in the apartment by ourselves and well one thing led to another and well yeah...I really considering at this point giving him his umpteenth chance to make things right, then I went back to Austin and back to my "man toys" and he promised me the moon and stars and didn't follow up again, and I fell back into my little vendetta to prove to myself and the world I was worth something to someone. I was at one point "with" 2 guys at one time with one of them 29 when I was 19...not a healthy relationship at all..we met once a weekend to have dinner and well yeah do what 19 year olds do...lol. While during the week I was seeing and doing what 19 year olds do with a 26 or 27 year old guy that was a friend and I was just there when he needed a friend when he had problems with his girlfriend and yeah he left her and I was just there.Keep in mind during this torrid affair, I was like numb, neither of them really mattered to me on a serious level...they were just part of my climb to prove my worth. Yet I still wonder about them from time to time wonder if I had let them matter to me instead of walling myself up what could have came of it all if I could have committed myself to just one of them. But I didn't and Taylor and I got to know each other better because at first we hated each other, I didn't like his attitude and he didn't like the way I was living life. Going out everynight getting drunk or finding somewhere to do it. Living life numb and keeping myself very well protected from anyone who might want to care for me. But some for reason that I will never know that hate turned into tolerance, and that tolerance turned into like and we started hanging out alot. Then that like turned into a friendship, and well that friendship turned into what we have today. I never have had trouble expressing my feelings about someone, but when I wanted to tell Taylor "I love you" the words just could not come out. I couldn't make myself say them. He thought I was really messed up, because I am sure I sounded pretty stupid trying to say this. I attribute this to my months of protecting myself and hiding deep in myself and not allowing myself to feel like this and now I had no control it just happened. I was also afraid of being hurt, I didn't want to say it and him to say ok, that is nice I don't feel the same way. If he had say that I have no idea where I would be today. But he said he loved me too. Neither of us were sure how strong it was, but we got the true test, when he moved back to his parents for a bit while he was waiting to move in with a friend of his close to his parents which was 2 or 3 hours from Austin. I was all about coming to see him every weekend paying my bus ffare there and back just to see him. He was unsure of this and said we would have to play it weekend by weekend, well after that first weekend, I said well let me know when I can come back and yeah well..he shcoked me when he said "You aren't coming back next weekend?" I knew then that this thing was much stronger than either one of us reckoned it would be. Taylor makes me much more happy then anyone else I have ever been with in every possible way. Physical, emotional, mentally..you name it, I am very happy. Sure we have our ups and downs but yeah its still tons better now than it has ever been, but I find myself thinking these morbid curious thoughts when I am having a down. When it just feels like life is hitting me head on. I think I think of these things because I wonder if things would have been easier for me in a different life path. I sometimes wish I could look into a parallel universe and see myself in these different life paths and see what would have happened to me. Am I alone in this thought path? This my deep thoughts that I never have talked to anyone else before about, but I feel that I can trust my blogger family with these screts and they won't go any farther. I have been feeling I need to share these things with someone somewhere but didn't know who without someone judging me for my past or thinking I am ungrateful for what I have or just flat out crazy.
But I am sorry, this doesn't seem to be the great masterpiece I imagined, but I do feel better and a bit skitish because I don't want Taylor catching me at this. So, I'll end it here.
Please feel free to tell me I am crazy or something.
My fave songs for this posting:
Eminem Ft. Rihanna Love the Way You Lie
Gary allan See if I Care
Gary Allan Learning how to Bend
Gary Allan Loving you against my will
Gary Allan Smoke Rings in the Dark
Deep Thoughts and Crazy Ramblings brought to you by
Amanda Ellen and Leah as my only witness.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Ok, just a little something here
This is not what I want to write, but I can't write it right now. I need time to write it with no Taylor trying to be nosey and see whats coming out of my brain. This post will be a post that makes you think or at least makes me think and its something I've been thinking about just out of morbid curiosity. But I don't think it will come this week since this week is "Taylor's Birthday Week" so yeah he is demanding attention and not wanting to leave me to myself for any decent amount of time. I would go the headphone route but I really don't want to hear that one, not right now. So, I wanted to give you guys a heads up on whats to come when I have the time. I will give you a school update, I found out today that the first 4 quizzes for my business law class will have a curve, not that I need it, so that will be awesome. So that will do something for my 2 80s, an 85, and a 95...wonder what my grade will look like then :)
I am really excited about this weekend since Friday is Taylor's birthday and his mom's birthday is Sunday because I hope they both really like their presents that I got them. Taylor's mom present just came in the mail today. I am now just waiting for my book I ordered from Amazon to show and I will be a happy camper. I ordered this book for my vampire class that is about this Countess from the 1500s or 1600s who well liked blood. She killed pretty young girls to bathe in their blood because she thought it helped keep her young. There is also rumors that she drank some of the blood to keep her inner beauty. So yeah its really about how she got to that point and the downfall from all that and her imprisonment in her own rooms and how she died. Really looking forward to it, I was told by the lit professor that iI am like him, I need a whole team of thereapists and not sure even then they could truly find what makes me so disturbed and twisted lol. So, yeah I'll take my first major exam for Biology next week and trying to get ahead for my trip to see my parents the first week of october, I miss them lots. So, yeah thats about it. Leah has been a doll except for her wal mart trip monday, but she really hates Wal-Mart and it takes alot to keep her focused in their. I tell myself next time I am not giving her a chance to act right I am just going to slap the head collar on before we go in, but then I always go soft in my resolve and think she might act right this next time and end up giving lots of corrections the whole time we are there. *sighs* I love my girl, but I think GDB matched us up too well sometimes, she is just as hardheaded as I am, and I never realized how bad I could be lol.
Well thats it for now, I hope to write my thought provoking post soon,
Amanda Ellen and Leah My little Princess
I am really excited about this weekend since Friday is Taylor's birthday and his mom's birthday is Sunday because I hope they both really like their presents that I got them. Taylor's mom present just came in the mail today. I am now just waiting for my book I ordered from Amazon to show and I will be a happy camper. I ordered this book for my vampire class that is about this Countess from the 1500s or 1600s who well liked blood. She killed pretty young girls to bathe in their blood because she thought it helped keep her young. There is also rumors that she drank some of the blood to keep her inner beauty. So yeah its really about how she got to that point and the downfall from all that and her imprisonment in her own rooms and how she died. Really looking forward to it, I was told by the lit professor that iI am like him, I need a whole team of thereapists and not sure even then they could truly find what makes me so disturbed and twisted lol. So, yeah I'll take my first major exam for Biology next week and trying to get ahead for my trip to see my parents the first week of october, I miss them lots. So, yeah thats about it. Leah has been a doll except for her wal mart trip monday, but she really hates Wal-Mart and it takes alot to keep her focused in their. I tell myself next time I am not giving her a chance to act right I am just going to slap the head collar on before we go in, but then I always go soft in my resolve and think she might act right this next time and end up giving lots of corrections the whole time we are there. *sighs* I love my girl, but I think GDB matched us up too well sometimes, she is just as hardheaded as I am, and I never realized how bad I could be lol.
Well thats it for now, I hope to write my thought provoking post soon,
Amanda Ellen and Leah My little Princess
Thursday, September 2, 2010
A big bunch of nothingness
Well, not much I really feel I need to get out there, but I am so bored that I thought I would give you guys a nothingness post. :) So, yeah lets see. School has been going good. I am successfully filling my role as an average college student. Making mostly "B"s on my quizzes and stuff. Archery, now thats going well. I have a goal to destroy this stupid door bell by the end of the semester. Oh, the door bell you ask? The door bell is the ghetto accomadations the school provided to me for Archery. I can't really use it by myself because for one I am not by myself, and for 2 the door bell reverberates in sound so its really hard to tell exactly where the sound originates from. So, the teach told me he would give me an "A" for the semester if I could destroy it by the end of the semester by shooting it. Come close Wednesday got 3 inches to the left of it. So close! I can't go to the ADA counselor because she is out all week, so I'll tell her next week it won't work and continue on my path of destruction. :) It def makes Archery that much more fun. Business Law, I need to email that teacher because the court cases she refers to in our notes don't match to what she is saying in the book. So yeah, thats a bit frustrating. Yesterday was a real bad day for meI got a migraine right as I was getting to school, I should've stayed home I felt it coming before I left but I thought I could tough it out and really didn't want to miss school. Well, yeah I should've stayed home, once the migraine was gone, I was like a walking zombie. I really had pretty much no spoons. I was in a fog or a haze and couldn't do much of anything. This sidewalk I take regulary and have done so for the last 3 years looked like it split in 3 different directions yesterday. My vision whats left was all screwed up. I couldn't even help my friend with some college algebra my brain was so fryed. I felt useless yesterday. Is it bad if I don't like to write in my blog while Taylor is in the room lol? I feel like I am writing in my diary and he is invading my privacy lol. But yeah he is not paying attention right now he is playing with a new app on his IPhone. I am half way listening to the Cowboys game on the TV. Just paying enough attention to see when someone scores. I am really ready for bed, I shouldn't be I slept for 11 hours last night, but I am just really bored, border line feeling depressed. Not sure why I am, I have no real reason to feel this way. I am really busting my butt in school because I want to take a week off the first week in October so I can go see my parents. Its been since May since I seen them last and they will be in Texas then. After this I won't see them again till New Year's. I am ahead in Biology right now, but I just need to have my tutor finish my notes for the last chapter and a half I need for the first major text. Business Law, well yeah...not sure there. Archery I don't think will be a problem or Wellness and Fitness. My oreintation class still isn't moving because the prof can't get blackboard to like what she is posting for us to download. Thank God that tomorrow is Friday. Tomorrow I think I'll work on my Biology paper in tutoring. Its a research paper over Giant Pandas, it should be fun if I can ever get my energy to return. Well, the Cowboys are winning 16-10 and I think its still 3rd quarter, or it maybe 4th not real sure. I heard about the new nanos coming out yesterday. Not sure if I like it or not. But I still think I want one. I like the old ones with the video camera, but I think I like the fact that the new ones will be running IOS. Well the Cowboys lost their lead here in the 4th its now 17-16. Yeah, not long now before I will be going to bed. Wonder if I am getting sick, my whole body is starting to hurt. Ah, who knows I'll worry about it when that gets here if it gets here.
Well, I guess thats all I will bored with you tonight.
Hope you had fun with my whole lot of nothingness!
AAmanda Ellen and Leah
Well, I guess thats all I will bored with you tonight.
Hope you had fun with my whole lot of nothingness!
AAmanda Ellen and Leah
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Recaps of Sunday and Monday
Ok, so at the request and persistent request of a few people who will remain nameless for this post, I now finally feel human enough to get this out there for you guys.
If you've been reading then you know I went to Oklahoma Sunday with Taylor's parents. Well despite my worst fears things actually went smoothly for the most part. Leah wasn't looked down like a plaque or anything for being there, no one made any snyde comments, and no one complained about taking me to take her out. My only real issue and notice I say issue was someone who was there playing too. I had Leah following Taylor's mom since I couldn't see well in there and I definately couldn't hear. Well, on our trips around the casino Leah was doing great, following without any major problems until someone stopped her. Want to know how they stopped her, they stuck their hand out there like they were going to pet her and she stopped in her tracks and was ready to eat some attention up. Well because said person stopped Leah Taylor's mom kept on going thinking we were still following, until she turned around to say something and I wasn't there lol. I said a few words with the person, about how my dog is a working dog and I am blind and that she was following my family so I knew where to go and thanks to them I was now lost and didn't know where my family had gone. You know what all they said was I am sorry, and didn't even offer to help me find them! That was total bullshit! But we only eneded doing half of the trip we had planned since everyone was really tired by like 3 and ready to go home. Taylor's dad and brother were a bit aggravating his dad more than anyone because we were trying to regroup to leave and we couldn't let him go anywhere because he would just sit down and start playing again and it was next to impossible to get him off it. So we ended up home about 6 that evening, and I was pooped I had been up since 4:30 that morning and I think Leah was starved even though I had been feeding her small amounts of kibble and ice through the day along with some water here and there. Once again, my private pooper wouldn't poop while we were there so I felt a little silly prepared for the worst lol. But went to bed semi early for us at least that night. I had school the next day the first day of school to be truthful. Oh boy, I woke up at like 8 that morning wide awake realizing I had only slept for a little less than 8 hours, that should've been my first clue to what kind of day I was going to have. Well, I got ready packed myself a lunch and made sure I had lots of water for Leah and myself because it was only like 9:30 and it was hot! Well, glad I did, because before the day was over the temp had gotten to 108 and the heat index was hotter than the devils butt crack lol. (I just made that one up lol) Archery went well, he said we wouldn't go outside and start shooting till it cooled off a bit, which is good. Wednesday we are going to the library to learn how to email him assignments in blackboard and to start a written assignment on the "ABC's of Archery Safety" yeah sounds kind of stupid but whatever. So, we got out of there early and I went to check on where I would be meeting the person who was in charge of helping me with my classes and the room we usually used was no longer available to us. So, I threw a small fit about refusing to work in the library and stalked off. I went to my friend who is the assisstant to the dean and also in charge of room schedules and told her what was going on. She found a class room that we could work in, but once we got there after my special topics class we found the internet didn't work in there. Anyways more about tutoring later. So, I ate lunch after that talking to my friend while she worked and listening to the people come and go. I then tried to return my biology book since I had extra time but the line in the bookstore had looped all the way around the store so I gave up and left. Then I decided to go back to my friends office and wait out the time till it was ok to head over for class. She had asked me to come out side and smoke with her and I agreed, and I had let Leah off her leash to do her business because my friend was watching her and Leah does really on campus about not wandering off. Well, talking to my friend and listening to Leah's tags jingle to keep an ear out for where she was, when all of a sudden my friend leaned over and whispered "Leah just pooped" I was mortified. In the 2 years she has been on campus she never pooped on campus! So, I asked my friend if I got the sack I brought my lunch in would she show me where it was so I could pick it up. Well in the process of picking up the deposit, the maintenence person came up to me and asked what I was doing, I simply stated that I was picking up after my dog. To which his reply was, "Don't do that" and I was like what? and he said they prefer for the dogs to poop on campus where people don't walk because its free fertilizer. The man whom I was speaking to is really nice and I have spoken with him before and he playfully told me he would beat me for throwing his free fertilizer away lol. Well, I told him that I had already picked up and wasn't about to put it back and he laughed. So, I tied up the deposit and gathered up my stuff since I needed to head over to class. My grandmother had painted my lit professor a picture since she found out he was my fave and I had been trying to get it to him since the end of may and I also had a picture of myself and him that we had taken at the awards ceremony in may as well that I wanted to give him. Well I caught him before class in front of the student center smoking a cigar and had the pictures under my arm, with the deposit in my hand. When I walked up he was all like "Oh, you have the pictures." and i was all like "Yeah, let me just throw something awway first." Then he was all like "Whats in that wal mart sack, you got something good for me?" and he was really wanting the wal mart sack in my hand which had the deposit in my hand. I told him"You don't want this sack, I need to throw it away." He was like well maybe it is something I want don't throw it away." I laughed loudly because I was trying to not be blunt about what was in the sack since there was other people out there, but he was insistant on me giving him the bag until I finally said" Hyles, do you really want this sack?" and he waslike "Maybe" and I was like "Oh, I bet you don't" and he was like " How do you know I don't want it?" and I was like "You are really going to make me say it, its dog shit. I don't think you want it." I laughed really loudly as did alot of other people in hearing distance. He then asked me "Why in the hell are you carrying around dog shit?" He was very confused at this point...and I couldn't stop laughing. I finally said "Well, Leah had to poop and I picked it up and this is the only outside trash can close." He was very disgusted at the fact for a minute and laughed. "I guess thats part of having a dog like that huh?" was his response. "Yeah, but I was told she could poop wherever as long as it wasn't where some one walked that I didn't have/need to pick up." "What? Then we will have dog shit everywhere in that case." "No, this is the first time in 2 years she has ever pooped on campus." "Are you shitting me?" "No, *laughing*" "That poor dog she can hold it better than I can." "No, she is just a private pooper, but don't think she could hold it today so she did what she had to do." "Well she must have developed shame." "Shame?" "Shame like us humans, we can't just go shit in front of people." "I guess, she really just likes to have her privacy. " Then he laughed and I laughed. This teacher is rather old and he has some problems getting up once he has sat down and at this point it was just him and me outside and it was time to go to class, so I asked if he needed help up. He was like no I'll just wait for someone else to help me. I was astonished, and replied "I can help you, you know?" He was like "But you are blind you can't help me up." I told him "Just because I can't see you doesn't mean my arms are broken, now let me help you up." To which he replied "Ok, but if You let me fall, its going to be a blind girls ass." I laughed really hard and helped him up with no problems. He then said to me "Well, I guess you were right, you don't need eyes to do that kind of stuff huh?" I was like "No, I told you my arms work just fine." We went to class while he carried his picture of him and me with him, he had someone else put the painting in his car. Well, we got to class and this particular class is broadcasted with the other campus in Hillsboro and while waiting for the stuff to connect to the other campus he played with the magnification stuff he had put my half of the picture on the screen, and everyone was laughing. I couldn't for the life of me figure out why, so I finally had to ask "Do I really want to know what you are doing?" To which he said to the rest of the class "Its ok, she doesn't know she's blind." I almost died laughing. He then told me that he had put my half of the picture on the screen, and I told him to not subject those people to such torture. He told me "I know its the most awful kind of torture, having to look at a pretty girl isn't it?" I ducked my head and blushed embarrassed. Then he put his half of the picture on the screen and said " Ok, kids this is what you will look like in 20 years if you don't drink your milk and eat your vegetables." I couldn't help laughing. This teacher is my fave because he isn't afraid to joke about my blindness and play it off like a joke and that makes me feel better because of it. Most teachers just try to dance around the fact and some are even afraid to say "Blind" like its a forbidden word or something. Well, once that class was over I went to meet my tutor whom I already knew and we went to try this room my friend had told us was open for the time we wanted. Well when we got there we were drenched in sweat, because it had reached the 108 degrree mark by this time. So, while we cooled off in the room, I was trying to get my computer on the network and I needed a network key so I called the internet person and she came over and said we were trying to connect to the old network and we needed the new one, but needed to download this thing first but had to do it somewhere else in another building and then this room would work for us. So we just decided to go somewhere else for the day. We got started and tryed to to use this lock down browser and it wouldn't work on my computer like the teacher said it would. So, I went to the testing center and took my first quiz for Biology. It was simple 10 questions and I made an 80 only missing 2 questions. I didn't think that was too bad but felt I could've done better. Then we decided to get half of the business law done since we didn't have a book, we only did the discussion board posting for the week. Once we had done all this, we decided we had enough for the day because we had covered the outline for business law and biology. I then went off to tackle the book store one more time and it wasn't that bad this time, but I did run into a lady who works for the school Taylor went to highschool at and she knew him and didn't realize that I was his girlfriend, all she had ever heard was that he was dating a blind girl. She said it was nice to meet me and she was very nice, becauseI knew her daughter from hanging out with some of Taylor's friends. Well, now on to my complaining. Whose bright idea was it to not talk me out of 13 hours? I mean 12 hours has never been a problem before, but 10 of my hours this semester is going to kill me. Biology has lots of quizzes and 5 page papers, Business law has averaging 2 quizzes a week, with a discussion board posting and 2 replies a week, and my special topics class well thats just special. We have to read one fictional vampire book, one non fictional vampire book, not to mention Dracula and this other book called Carmilla. We have to write papers over all of those, and we also have to watch 16 movies or more and keep a movie log of when we watched it, who we watched it with, and a summary of the movie. Yikes! Oh, and the business law class is requiring a reserach paper on Managerial Accounting, which shouldn't be an issue since I am decent at accounting, but I have a feeling that it won't be what I am expecting and its due in Nobember so I should probably start on that paper and the biology papers just to get a head start. I don't think I'll be having much of a sociallife this semester. If this doesn't kill me, than I will have one heck of a GPA,when its over! Well, I didn't want to be bored anymore, and it looks like this semester is just what I asked for, not a whole lot of down time. I am sorry it took me so long to get this up, I was just worn out with not getting a whole lot of sleep and having 2 long days and the heat and humidity yesterday almost killed me. I really was pooped. I also had another early morning this morning because I ahd to get a shot and get groceries, but I jumped at the first chance I had to catch a nap and slept for about a hour or 2 and feel much more human. If Ican go to bed early tonight it would rock, because tomorrow I have to get up at 8 to make sure everything is taken care of before I leave for the day.
I am writing this while I listen to the Rangers game from yesterday on archive, see you know I'm out of it when I don't even have the concentration to watch baseball. So, today I have a double header, just hoping they don't overlap. I tried really hard to not hear anything about the game before I watched it which was really hard since Taylor likes to listen to the sports station and the Rangers game last night seemed to be a hot topic, so I kept holding my ears shut and humming till it was over. That made for an interesting car ride though :) We just went to the top of the 7th, and its 3-0 Rangers, its looking good for us right now. We are playing the Twins,and over all they are a pretty tough team.
Well, thats the scoop on the poop lmao!
Hope you enjoyed,
Amanda Ellen and Leah who is not happy that she has had to work 3 straight days in a row, but she doesn't know she has to work tomorrow too :)
If you've been reading then you know I went to Oklahoma Sunday with Taylor's parents. Well despite my worst fears things actually went smoothly for the most part. Leah wasn't looked down like a plaque or anything for being there, no one made any snyde comments, and no one complained about taking me to take her out. My only real issue and notice I say issue was someone who was there playing too. I had Leah following Taylor's mom since I couldn't see well in there and I definately couldn't hear. Well, on our trips around the casino Leah was doing great, following without any major problems until someone stopped her. Want to know how they stopped her, they stuck their hand out there like they were going to pet her and she stopped in her tracks and was ready to eat some attention up. Well because said person stopped Leah Taylor's mom kept on going thinking we were still following, until she turned around to say something and I wasn't there lol. I said a few words with the person, about how my dog is a working dog and I am blind and that she was following my family so I knew where to go and thanks to them I was now lost and didn't know where my family had gone. You know what all they said was I am sorry, and didn't even offer to help me find them! That was total bullshit! But we only eneded doing half of the trip we had planned since everyone was really tired by like 3 and ready to go home. Taylor's dad and brother were a bit aggravating his dad more than anyone because we were trying to regroup to leave and we couldn't let him go anywhere because he would just sit down and start playing again and it was next to impossible to get him off it. So we ended up home about 6 that evening, and I was pooped I had been up since 4:30 that morning and I think Leah was starved even though I had been feeding her small amounts of kibble and ice through the day along with some water here and there. Once again, my private pooper wouldn't poop while we were there so I felt a little silly prepared for the worst lol. But went to bed semi early for us at least that night. I had school the next day the first day of school to be truthful. Oh boy, I woke up at like 8 that morning wide awake realizing I had only slept for a little less than 8 hours, that should've been my first clue to what kind of day I was going to have. Well, I got ready packed myself a lunch and made sure I had lots of water for Leah and myself because it was only like 9:30 and it was hot! Well, glad I did, because before the day was over the temp had gotten to 108 and the heat index was hotter than the devils butt crack lol. (I just made that one up lol) Archery went well, he said we wouldn't go outside and start shooting till it cooled off a bit, which is good. Wednesday we are going to the library to learn how to email him assignments in blackboard and to start a written assignment on the "ABC's of Archery Safety" yeah sounds kind of stupid but whatever. So, we got out of there early and I went to check on where I would be meeting the person who was in charge of helping me with my classes and the room we usually used was no longer available to us. So, I threw a small fit about refusing to work in the library and stalked off. I went to my friend who is the assisstant to the dean and also in charge of room schedules and told her what was going on. She found a class room that we could work in, but once we got there after my special topics class we found the internet didn't work in there. Anyways more about tutoring later. So, I ate lunch after that talking to my friend while she worked and listening to the people come and go. I then tried to return my biology book since I had extra time but the line in the bookstore had looped all the way around the store so I gave up and left. Then I decided to go back to my friends office and wait out the time till it was ok to head over for class. She had asked me to come out side and smoke with her and I agreed, and I had let Leah off her leash to do her business because my friend was watching her and Leah does really on campus about not wandering off. Well, talking to my friend and listening to Leah's tags jingle to keep an ear out for where she was, when all of a sudden my friend leaned over and whispered "Leah just pooped" I was mortified. In the 2 years she has been on campus she never pooped on campus! So, I asked my friend if I got the sack I brought my lunch in would she show me where it was so I could pick it up. Well in the process of picking up the deposit, the maintenence person came up to me and asked what I was doing, I simply stated that I was picking up after my dog. To which his reply was, "Don't do that" and I was like what? and he said they prefer for the dogs to poop on campus where people don't walk because its free fertilizer. The man whom I was speaking to is really nice and I have spoken with him before and he playfully told me he would beat me for throwing his free fertilizer away lol. Well, I told him that I had already picked up and wasn't about to put it back and he laughed. So, I tied up the deposit and gathered up my stuff since I needed to head over to class. My grandmother had painted my lit professor a picture since she found out he was my fave and I had been trying to get it to him since the end of may and I also had a picture of myself and him that we had taken at the awards ceremony in may as well that I wanted to give him. Well I caught him before class in front of the student center smoking a cigar and had the pictures under my arm, with the deposit in my hand. When I walked up he was all like "Oh, you have the pictures." and i was all like "Yeah, let me just throw something awway first." Then he was all like "Whats in that wal mart sack, you got something good for me?" and he was really wanting the wal mart sack in my hand which had the deposit in my hand. I told him"You don't want this sack, I need to throw it away." He was like well maybe it is something I want don't throw it away." I laughed loudly because I was trying to not be blunt about what was in the sack since there was other people out there, but he was insistant on me giving him the bag until I finally said" Hyles, do you really want this sack?" and he waslike "Maybe" and I was like "Oh, I bet you don't" and he was like " How do you know I don't want it?" and I was like "You are really going to make me say it, its dog shit. I don't think you want it." I laughed really loudly as did alot of other people in hearing distance. He then asked me "Why in the hell are you carrying around dog shit?" He was very confused at this point...and I couldn't stop laughing. I finally said "Well, Leah had to poop and I picked it up and this is the only outside trash can close." He was very disgusted at the fact for a minute and laughed. "I guess thats part of having a dog like that huh?" was his response. "Yeah, but I was told she could poop wherever as long as it wasn't where some one walked that I didn't have/need to pick up." "What? Then we will have dog shit everywhere in that case." "No, this is the first time in 2 years she has ever pooped on campus." "Are you shitting me?" "No, *laughing*" "That poor dog she can hold it better than I can." "No, she is just a private pooper, but don't think she could hold it today so she did what she had to do." "Well she must have developed shame." "Shame?" "Shame like us humans, we can't just go shit in front of people." "I guess, she really just likes to have her privacy. " Then he laughed and I laughed. This teacher is rather old and he has some problems getting up once he has sat down and at this point it was just him and me outside and it was time to go to class, so I asked if he needed help up. He was like no I'll just wait for someone else to help me. I was astonished, and replied "I can help you, you know?" He was like "But you are blind you can't help me up." I told him "Just because I can't see you doesn't mean my arms are broken, now let me help you up." To which he replied "Ok, but if You let me fall, its going to be a blind girls ass." I laughed really hard and helped him up with no problems. He then said to me "Well, I guess you were right, you don't need eyes to do that kind of stuff huh?" I was like "No, I told you my arms work just fine." We went to class while he carried his picture of him and me with him, he had someone else put the painting in his car. Well, we got to class and this particular class is broadcasted with the other campus in Hillsboro and while waiting for the stuff to connect to the other campus he played with the magnification stuff he had put my half of the picture on the screen, and everyone was laughing. I couldn't for the life of me figure out why, so I finally had to ask "Do I really want to know what you are doing?" To which he said to the rest of the class "Its ok, she doesn't know she's blind." I almost died laughing. He then told me that he had put my half of the picture on the screen, and I told him to not subject those people to such torture. He told me "I know its the most awful kind of torture, having to look at a pretty girl isn't it?" I ducked my head and blushed embarrassed. Then he put his half of the picture on the screen and said " Ok, kids this is what you will look like in 20 years if you don't drink your milk and eat your vegetables." I couldn't help laughing. This teacher is my fave because he isn't afraid to joke about my blindness and play it off like a joke and that makes me feel better because of it. Most teachers just try to dance around the fact and some are even afraid to say "Blind" like its a forbidden word or something. Well, once that class was over I went to meet my tutor whom I already knew and we went to try this room my friend had told us was open for the time we wanted. Well when we got there we were drenched in sweat, because it had reached the 108 degrree mark by this time. So, while we cooled off in the room, I was trying to get my computer on the network and I needed a network key so I called the internet person and she came over and said we were trying to connect to the old network and we needed the new one, but needed to download this thing first but had to do it somewhere else in another building and then this room would work for us. So we just decided to go somewhere else for the day. We got started and tryed to to use this lock down browser and it wouldn't work on my computer like the teacher said it would. So, I went to the testing center and took my first quiz for Biology. It was simple 10 questions and I made an 80 only missing 2 questions. I didn't think that was too bad but felt I could've done better. Then we decided to get half of the business law done since we didn't have a book, we only did the discussion board posting for the week. Once we had done all this, we decided we had enough for the day because we had covered the outline for business law and biology. I then went off to tackle the book store one more time and it wasn't that bad this time, but I did run into a lady who works for the school Taylor went to highschool at and she knew him and didn't realize that I was his girlfriend, all she had ever heard was that he was dating a blind girl. She said it was nice to meet me and she was very nice, becauseI knew her daughter from hanging out with some of Taylor's friends. Well, now on to my complaining. Whose bright idea was it to not talk me out of 13 hours? I mean 12 hours has never been a problem before, but 10 of my hours this semester is going to kill me. Biology has lots of quizzes and 5 page papers, Business law has averaging 2 quizzes a week, with a discussion board posting and 2 replies a week, and my special topics class well thats just special. We have to read one fictional vampire book, one non fictional vampire book, not to mention Dracula and this other book called Carmilla. We have to write papers over all of those, and we also have to watch 16 movies or more and keep a movie log of when we watched it, who we watched it with, and a summary of the movie. Yikes! Oh, and the business law class is requiring a reserach paper on Managerial Accounting, which shouldn't be an issue since I am decent at accounting, but I have a feeling that it won't be what I am expecting and its due in Nobember so I should probably start on that paper and the biology papers just to get a head start. I don't think I'll be having much of a sociallife this semester. If this doesn't kill me, than I will have one heck of a GPA,when its over! Well, I didn't want to be bored anymore, and it looks like this semester is just what I asked for, not a whole lot of down time. I am sorry it took me so long to get this up, I was just worn out with not getting a whole lot of sleep and having 2 long days and the heat and humidity yesterday almost killed me. I really was pooped. I also had another early morning this morning because I ahd to get a shot and get groceries, but I jumped at the first chance I had to catch a nap and slept for about a hour or 2 and feel much more human. If Ican go to bed early tonight it would rock, because tomorrow I have to get up at 8 to make sure everything is taken care of before I leave for the day.
I am writing this while I listen to the Rangers game from yesterday on archive, see you know I'm out of it when I don't even have the concentration to watch baseball. So, today I have a double header, just hoping they don't overlap. I tried really hard to not hear anything about the game before I watched it which was really hard since Taylor likes to listen to the sports station and the Rangers game last night seemed to be a hot topic, so I kept holding my ears shut and humming till it was over. That made for an interesting car ride though :) We just went to the top of the 7th, and its 3-0 Rangers, its looking good for us right now. We are playing the Twins,and over all they are a pretty tough team.
Well, thats the scoop on the poop lmao!
Hope you enjoyed,
Amanda Ellen and Leah who is not happy that she has had to work 3 straight days in a row, but she doesn't know she has to work tomorrow too :)
Friday, August 20, 2010
An update on my previous post!
YAY! so I am happy to report, that Leah will be going with me on our little Sunday outing! Thanks to Taylor I didn't really even have to blow a gasket and never really had to be shitty! I love him sometimes :) So, in all seriousness, Leah and I have never had an outing quite like this before, with a long car ride there and then actually having to do something once the car ride is over. Usually when she has long car rides she and I are going to my parents and we get home and the harness comes off and its relax time. I am not sure how I'm going to do on this either, I don't normally do long car rides well when it comes to having energy when its over. Riding 4 hours to my mom's with lots of stops along the way usually wears me out. So, 2.5 hours to a casino and spending god only knows how long in this casino will be interesting, to say the least! I am wondering how I will do Leah's breakfast that morning. Thinking if I get up 2 hours before we have to leave and feed her immediately then that should give her ample oppourtunity and time to do her business. Not wanting to make this any worse by asking to stop on the way there because Leah has to go. I am sure we will have to stop though, because I am sure I'll have to go to the bathroom with having a bladder the size of a walnut and always drinking alot of fluids. But I think I'll keep her dinner the same, just hoping she will be willing to poop in public like that. I have come to know over time that Leah is a very private pooper. She doesn't really like anyone watching if she can help it and she prefers grass to concrete any day. So, I have a feeling this place won't have a lot of grass and probably won't have a real secluded place for Leah to go to the bathroom. So this will make dinner time interesting. I also think I'll make some take me and her out every 2 or 3 hours just to make sure she doesn't need a potty break because I really don't want any accidents. Not with these people around I don't. Give me any of my family or my friends and it wouldn't be so bad, but with Taylor's family this would be mortifying. The only thing they asked of me was if I could brush her extra good the night before to help knock off any extra dog hair to keep the dog hair to a minimum in the car. Which ok whatever, I still won and my dog is getting to go. The friend who was going to keep Leah for me was a little sad that I was taking Leah with me since she had a whole play day planned for Leah and her pup, but she understood why this was important to me and said we could make a play day one day when I could attend to or next time I needed a dog sitter. So that was really nice. Oh, and I don't really keep poop bags on me since Leah has never pooped on campus in the 3 years we've been going to school and thats usually the place we are at the longest where its mandatory that I pick up after her, so can I just take wal mart bags to pick up poop if I can coax her to go? I have a backyard and kinda shove the poop off into a corner and pick up the pile like once a week, and Taylor's parents have a yard that Leah goes in which Taylor's mom does the same as me, and my mom has a yard that she doesn't really pick up, but never seems to over flow since I am sure that since they aren't there alot the strays probably take care of what poop does accumulate. So, Sunday will be interesting, but I feel great, because my baby will be going! I won the battle, just not sure about the war just yet! I am just so happy! I'll call tomorrow to see what they want to put in the floor of the car for her to lay on, if I need to bring something. If I do then I guess I'll be nice and wash Leah's favorite blanket and take it. Its really cute my mom bought it for her. Its pink camo and has John Deere on it. Mom thought it was fitting of Leah, she said she was a pink country girl lol. So, I am really ready and kinda nervous now. I'm not sure when I'll update on Sundays adventures since I do have school Monday..so I'll either try to do it before bed Sunday or maybe monday evening. Just depends on how wore out I am. Oh, how I can't wait for school to start to give my life some normalcy again! It will be so nice and I already have notes for my biology class so its a good start. Lots of stuff to remember though. Like "Does King PeterCome Over For Great Sex" Thats from my teacher! It is a little thing to help you remember Domain, Kingdom, Phylum,Class, Order, Family, Geneus (not sure how to spell that one), and Species! So, yeah I think I'll need lots of those little sayings to help me remember all this stuff! I hope to have my first quiz done early since its not due till the second monday of class but hoping by maybe wednesday I'll have it done!
Well, one more thing and then I'll finish for the night, The Rangers won tonight 2-0 over Baltimore and I enjoyed talking to you ladies and somewhat to you gentelman too today and can't wait to do it again!
Love, Peace, and Chicken Grease!!!
Amanda Ellen and Leah "My Princess"
Well, one more thing and then I'll finish for the night, The Rangers won tonight 2-0 over Baltimore and I enjoyed talking to you ladies and somewhat to you gentelman too today and can't wait to do it again!
Love, Peace, and Chicken Grease!!!
Amanda Ellen and Leah "My Princess"
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Unsupportive People beware, Cause I have about had enough!
Ok, so since I've gotten Leah the supportiveness of Taylor's family has been slowly going down hill and for the most part I have been able to stomach it and move on. Well this week I have about had enough. They wanted us to go up to Oklahoma to a casino on Sunday with them. Well, no problem a friend of mine offered to take Leah for me the night before and I could pick her up the next day. The only stipulation was that I needed to be home to receive her by 6:30-7 pm. Which I didn't think would be a problem since we were pplanning on leaving at like 6:30 that morning. Oh, well that just can't do for Taylor's family. You know why? Because his stupid little brother's girlfriend has to go to the place where her dad died. Not where he is buried or anything like that, but where he had the fatal heartattack and died. I am sorry, I may sound a bit insensitive but that is just f*ckin morbid to me. That would be like me wanting to the place where my dad ran off the road and died in his car crash, just not something thats healthy in my perspective for anyone. I can understand visiting the grave site, thats ok, but the place where he died I just don't get it. So, because Taylor's little brother is the baby he and his girlfriend get whatever they want even if its an hour out of the way. So, because of this little detour we probably wouldn't be back till 8:30 or 9 that night. There is no way I will ask someone to wait for me till that late on a Sunday night knowing full well they have to work the next day and that they are a person who works at a college and the person who directs classes and stuff on the first day. Which by the way Monday would be the first day of school. So, I said as nicely as I am capable of at this point that would not do, and that Leah would have to go. Now here is where the story changes, because when they proposed this trip a couple of days ago, they said there wasn't enough room in a Tahoe for Leah to ride, but tonight the story is well we just had the Tahoe cleaned. So, now they just don't want her there. Well, I said then if Leah can't go because you don't want to get back till late then I guess I will just have to stay home, and then continued to say that I thought that it was shitty that I would have to stay home just because you don't want my dog in your vehicle. Then I get the response that well we will just have to figure something out. Leah is perfectly capable of going and eating there and going to the bathroom there, I can pick up after her. She has no problem with riding in 4 hour stints. There is no real reason other than Leah is a dog and she sheds that she can't go. I offered to be nice and leave her home trying to stomach their unsupportiveness once again, but when you won't work with me in return then I am sorry, thats when I stop being helpful. This really frustrates me and I am supposed to find out tomorrow on the subject and I have a feeling I just might end up blowing a gasket and pissing off alot of people and at this point I don't really care. I am just tired of being cast off because I choose to use a dog as my mobility aid and not a person, like Taylor does. Its really frustrating and just wanted to throw this out for you blogger people and see what you guys thought.
Thats all for now stay tuned for what happens next,
Amanda Ellen and Leah
Thats all for now stay tuned for what happens next,
Amanda Ellen and Leah
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